Nyet-Flix: A Customer Service Nightmare

 

Nyet-Flix: A Customer Service Nightmare

By Susan Jacobson

By now, the story about the guy trying to cancel his AOL account is practically legendary. But really, can you blame AOL for trying to keep its customers?

It's REALLY bad when a service provider does everything in its power to REPEL prospective customers, which is what happened to editor-at-large Julie Jacobson's mother when she tried to reinstate her Netflix account. This is her story.

Five years ago, for a "special" birthday, my daughter Julie (of CE Pro fame) and Duane (of Julie's husband fame) gave me a year's subscription to Netflix. A great gift, but at year's end, I realized my sporadic flick-watching didn't justify $17.99 a month, so I unsubscribed.

The Flixters do not hold a grudge. That they would be there for me when I came to my senses and re-joined was made clear.

Very clear. Exceedingly clear. So clear that I finally blocked their emails and barbecued dinner for ten over a fire fueled by Netflix postal offers.

So, when I decided recently to re-enroll, I expected maybe Gene Hackman to show up at my door with a La-Z-Boy recliner and a lifetime supply of popcorn.

Not even close.

Attempting to subscribe online I clicked on "new member," and before I could type five letters of my email address the whole thing was supplied. Now that's what I call customer service. I then chose a password and clicked "next."

"Your password does not match your email address," I was told in red. How could it? I was a new member.

I tried again. Same admonition.

Maybe I'm a "returning customer," I thought. After five years? Possible. I signed in again, clicking on "returning customer." Same result.

I called customer service. That's when the fun began (doesn't it always?).

I wish I could remember whom I spoke to; all I can say is that the DaVinci code would never have been cracked had this guy been in charge. Let's call him "Dave" in honor of David Spade the nope-nope-nope guy in the TV ad.

Dave: Can I help you?

SJ: I'm having a strange problem. I'm trying to join Netflix online and it says my password doesn't match my email address. I don't know how that can be when I have no password to begin with.

Dave: What's your email address?

SJ: [supplies address]

Dave: You are a member.

SJ: I was five years ago, but not since then.

Dave: No, you're a member. We have you on file.

SJ: How do I find out my password?

Dave: You'll have to remember it.

SJ: It was five years ago and the membership was a gift. I don't know the password that was used.

Dave: Sorry, you'll have to find out what it was.

SJ: I'm not sure I can.

Dave: What credit card number was used?

SJ: I have no idea; it was a gift.

Dave: We need your credit card information or your password; you're a returning member.

SJ: Well, I'll subscribe as a new member.

Dave: No, you can't.

SJ: Because...?

Dave: ...The system already has your email address and it won't accept you as a new member.

SJ: Are you telling me I can't join Netflix?

Dave: Not unless you provide us with your password or credit card number.

SJ: Can't you mail me my password? Lord knows you're not shy about sending me emails.

Dave: Nope.

'Round and 'round it went, but the bottom line is that I was flicked off by Netflix. I'd rather not get into where this might fall on the list of all-time lows in rejection.

I called gift-givers Julie and Duane to share this surreal situation. After several minutes of their predictable ridicule, laughter, mother/mother-in-law jokes, and snide remarks, they finally caught their breath and suggested I try some of the 20-or-so customary passwords they've used over the years.

Whaddya know? It worked -- on about the sixth try!

Naturally, I hated giving Netflix the satisfaction, but the choices are few. And I've got to admit I'm lovin' these flicks. It's a good thing, too, because no way can I ever let my Netflix membership expire; I have no idea which of the 22 passwords worked.