My mother is rude and foul-mouthed

My OCD mother is completely distraught about her recent relocation. It seems everything is not yet "just so." She gives this excuse for not sending Duane a birthday card this year:

No card—sorry. The main reasons are: 1) you have been a real smart-ass about the change notices I’ve sent out regarding my move to Houston and 2) I can’t find the fucking card I got for you, or a stamp, or a pen, or my address book, or my toothbrush...

And you wonder where I got it from.

Jewish Christmas 2011: A Family Dialog

From: Duane Paulson 
Sent: Wednesday, December 21, 2011 11:49 AM
To: Maggie Paulson; Nick Paulson; Julie Jacobson
Subject: Jewish Christmas movies

Duane: I know this is a momentous decision (remember Dream Girls?!). Nominations are now open. Here are mine:
The Descendants
Young Adult
Iron Lady
Girl with Dragon Tattoo

Maggie: I'm down for The Descendants or Young Adult!

Nick: I have no preference, I just wanna spend time with my family (cue the 'awwwws' from dad and Julie and the eye rolling from Maggie)

Julie: Nick gets $50 extra.

Maggie: Nick, you were so right. Before I even got to the part where you said I would roll my eyes...I already said "dear god" in my head! So smart!

Happy .xxx day!

AVN/AEE 2007 (JJ on right)

The Web-powers-that-be opened .xxx domain names yesterday. As of this writing, juliejacobson.xxx is still available but I hesitate to drop $129 on it.

Even so, I thought we'd celebrate the day with a look back on the most memorable porn moments in my professional career. For years, our most highly-trafficked stories on CEPro.com involved xxx-related musings, mostly of a technological (i.e., relevant) nature.

For several of those years, if you Googled blu-ray+porn, my stories topped the list. Those were proud moments indeed.

It is true, the porn industry has driven the adoption and/or selection of key technologies related to my field, including video formats, interactivity, streaming and 3D. I thank them for that. So does my husband Duane Paulson, who served as my photographer for several AVN/AEE expos.

Here are some of the top articles and choice quotes over the years (Pictures here).

Top Porn Publisher Changes Mind on Blu-ray, Ships 4 HD DVD Titles
They say Betamax lost to VHS because VHS had more porn titles. Will the adult video industry hold similar sway in the high-def DVD battle?

"It's so much fun to play with technology," Joone says. "It's almost like an R&D place, where you can try new things and not really be worried."

One of those new things was "interactive sex," which Joone pioneered in the early 1990s with CD ROM-based videos that put you in the middle of the action.

"You have this girl, and you can put her in any position, change camera angles, change demeanor," he says. "She can be innocent or nasty. You can record what you're doing and play it back."

Wither Blu-ray? Porn Industry Backs HD DVD
If you thought all the Blu-ray and HD DVD action was at CES, then obviously you didn’t visit the show-next-door, the Adult Entertainment Expo.

"Most replication services are either owned by Sony or have ties to Disney," producer Tom Funk says. Neither organization, it seems, wants to tarnish its family-friendly reputation by cranking out dirty movies.

Reader favorite:  
High Definition Doesn’t Scare Porn Stars
"People, especially who have never seen high definition, are blown away by it." said Joone (that's the whole name), founder of Digital Playground, a producer of some of the more cinematically rich adult entertainment titles. 

"You have to be a little more self-conscious. You see every little flaw. ... I think it makes women more comfortable because they can see that nobody's perfect. ... We don't necessarily wear more makeup, but we make sure to drink lots of water to keep skin clear."- - Jesse Jane, Digital Playground

What the Bleep?! - News Article
Smut filters gone wild on CEPro.com 

Until we changed the smut filter, my bio boasted that I had graduated magna ### laude from the University of Michigan.

Porn Industry Warms Up to Blu-ray
Leading video producer Digital Playground to ship first XXX title in Blu-ray format, after year-long success with HD DVD.

Digital Playground claims to be the first shop to release a dual-layer adult video. The company’s Island Fever 4 originally shipped in a multidisc set. “To fit it all in there, you needed three discs,” Joone laments. “We’re the first company to do dual layer, so it all fits on one disc. It makes for a better user experience because now they don’t have to change the disc in the middle of the video.”

CE Companies Ambivalent About Targeting the Porn Industry
Video conferencing, digital media adapters, 3D screens debut at Adult Entertainment Expo.

One exhibitor, demonstrating a digital media adapter, begged us not to use the company's "real" name or the names of the booth personnel. At AEE the exhibitor called itself PCtoTV, but the corporation actually is a prominent silicon vendor whose technology can be found in digital media adapters from name-brand CE vendors.

A woman at the booth said that top company officials had religious inclinations that were not consistent with the porn industry.

Will Adult Entertainment Influence 3D TV Movement? - CE Pro Blog
Porn industry may hasten the adoption of 3D TV in the home, but probably won't influence the direction of 3D technology

"We feel our content and delivery system creates a virtual voyeuristic and participatory reaction from viewers. ... We are aiming to create an intriguing immersive reality for all of our customers,” -- Lance Johnson, Bad Girls in 3D

JJ & the porn industry: photo album here

The wonder of cellphone charging

Mom: I really need to get some sleep tonight, but I don’t want to unplug my home phone in case of emergencies.

Me: So leave your cellphone on for emergencies.

Mom: I can’t do that. I charge it at night.

Eulogy for Ruth "Nonny" Setters nee Wagner

Susan Jacobson & Nonny

My mother, Susan Jacobson, delivered this beautiful eulogy for my grandmother, Ruth "Nonny" Setters in Buffalo on Dec. 7, 2011. 

Nonny led a long and happy (and irreverent life) for 97 years. In delivering the eulogy, my Mom had the added responsibility of closing the chapter on the Wagner family -- what the rabbi called "the biggest family I have ever seen." 

Nonny was the end of the line for 8 Wagner sisters -- "all with great legs and not one of them a tramp." The cousins, friends and other relatives enjoyed the celebration of Nonny's unusual life. 

Please share your favorite Ruthie memories in the comments section below. Note that you don't have to include your contact info. Just click the option for name/URL and enter your name. 

I have posted a photo album of the last two Buffalo reunions on Facebook, plus lots of golden oldies. Still working on captions, and figuring out how you guys can do the same. Click here for photos.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Eulogy by Susan Jacobson
When my father died in 1994, I gave his eulogy.  When I was finished I rejoined my mother in the pew. She patted my hand and whispered, “That was so beautiful.” 

I leaned over to her and whispered, I’m really glad you liked it.  I’m only sorry you won’t be around for yours.  I’ve got something really special planned.” 

She couldn’t contain herself and started laughing so hard she was shaking—you know that silent, forbidden “temple” or “church” laugh.  Fortunately it appeared as though she were crying.

I begin with this because it illustrates probably the greatest legacy my mother left me—and others: a sense of humor.

My mom was fun, funny, and fun-loving--with an exceedingly irreverent sense of humor. The aides that cared for her over the past 7 years—in particular Trisha Chibani who was with her for all those years and Denyse Sirianni who came on a little later—they adored her.  And she wasn’t always easy. (continues)

Moseying up to the WiFi Counter

My Mom Susan Jacobson tells me she wanted to access free WiFi at the San Antonio airport ... but a seat at the "WiFi counter" never opened up.

But wait, there's more.

At the Houston airport -- where WiFi is not gratis -- she finds a spot at the "WiFi station" for her and her shiny new laptop. But where's the free WiFi?

So she asks her neighbor at the computer station where you're supposed to sit for the free WiFi.

Oh, mom!

Sucky keynote: a spoof

I was feeling pretty good about my lambaste of one of the worst all-time keynote addresses. But then I received this spoof of the speech from an unfortunate attendee, which puts my piece to shame:

The Institute for Self-Promotion and Gratification presents,

“Be All That You Can Be”

or

“I can’t believe the Army ripped that off of me, but I’m afraid to Challenge, because they have guns…and know the IRS”

Welcome, everyone, I’d just like you to know that I am very successful, and am almost definitely worth more than any of you in this room, but I try to be as humble as possible normally; just like Sting told me when we were backpacking together in Nepal, along with Brad, Angelina, and their kids. They love me.

First, nothing you can learn from comes from a cliché; they are useless, shallow, and usually completely irrelevant. At the end of the day, I believe you have to have your game face on, bring the right tools to the party, put your best foot forward, and shoot for the sky. Reach high, because every journey starts with a single step, but it’s not really the destination, but what kind of upgrade you’re going to get when you get there. I am usually upgraded because of my friends, the Rockefellers, the Hiltons, and the Lohans. Gosh, they’re fun to hang out with.

So anyway, remember, while you can’t be as successful as me, we are essentially the same person, only I’m better than you. We’re in the same business. Show business. And I’m the star of the show; and you little people are my stagehands; doing you little job too, is equally as important. Except that it’s not.

Nice young policeman takes mother-in-law to church

Nothing can keep my 89-year-old mother-in-law Jewell and her boyfriend Bob from church. Bob's car was sideswiped the other day -- no one was injured, thankfully -- and Jewell sent us this report:

Jewell playing dress-up

The fellow driving was probably in his 60's and when we got out of the cars, he said "I didn't see you. I'm blind in my right eye." Bob said the guy told him he had just come from the hospital where he had a treatment of some sort -- Bob thought he said dialysis. ... 


I called the Police Dept. on my cell and a nice young man arrived. It took quite a while to gather all the information. ...

The policeman gave us a ride to church in the patrol car, which was quite funny.  Bars on the windows, people gawking to see who was being hauled in.  I wouldn't want to ride far in it. No cushions in the back, just sitting on bare hard plastic.

Tomorrow I have a 10 AM appointment at Cemtra Care by hospital to get my ears "dewaxed".

Publishing letters to creditors is 'slanderous at best'

From the INSULTS file: response to a "story" I posted that did little more than quote a letter to creditors:

Dear Julia [sic],

I can’t tell you how pathetic your story of our Asset Purchase of ### was. There was so little fact in this article.

I would suggest talking to all parties before printing something that our attorneys believe to be slanderous at best. If you had bothered to do any research you would have found that this all cash purchase also hired all sales and technical staff as well as took over the responsibility of all jobs in progress and service of all past jobs. It also created a new company with revenues well in excess of 11 Million Dollars.

I expect this article to removed and a full retraction within 24 hours before we move ahead with any damage claims against you.

Follow-up: No damage claims were filed.

I told you the motivational speaker would suck

Granted, I don't like most keynote speakers, particularly those of the "motivational" variety.

The good news is that I can pick the potentially bearable presenters from their bios alone. Those that lead with "guru" or "world-renowned" I can safely assume will not impart anything useful for me to share with my colleagues back home.

So when I read the bio of this "innovative" speaker (below), I said to the other conferees: I don't like this guy. He is going to talk about his books and his rich clients. I'm going to give it a miss.

Needless to say, I was right. I found this out during the presentation while Skyping back and forth with an attendee who gave me the blow-by-blow.

Here's an excerpt:

[5:27:36 PM] me: how's the keynote?

[5:28:19 PM] him: Sucks. I hate him already.

[5:28:44 PM] me: seriously? You'll have to do a shot every time he mentions a client.

[5:29:15 PM] him: Or everytime he mentions his latest book!

[5:29:30 PM] me: OK, that!

[5:34:37 PM] him: Now he's trying to tell jokes...

[5:36:02 PM] me: are they jokes about his books and clients?

[5:38:51 PM] him: He's now talking about [famous client]

[5:49:44 PM] him: Now telling [another famous person] stories

.....

[6:01:26 PM] him: It turns out that u should exceed expectations...
[6:01:26 PM] me: Well, @!$# me. I should've been there!
[6:04:08 PM] him: He will give us a free poster of himself!  Seriously!!
[6:07:21 PM] me: no frickin' way. What are you supposed to do with that?
[6:13:58 PM] him: He's reading to us from his poster...
[6:15:02 PM] me: Ask him how much you would have to pay for it otherwise?
[6:16:55 PM] him: He will even sign it for you!!!
[6:17:15 PM] me: is that free too?
[6:18:25 PM] him: Be the miracle!
[6:18:48 PM] me: NO, YOU be the miracle! You can do it!

The Bio
You should have seen the warning signs!

###### is a speaker, author, entrepreneur, business owner and one of the most innovative guitarists in the world. With over 2,000 presentations to his name, his expertise on leadership and customer service comes from 30 hard-won years in the trenches as an entrepreneur.

For the past 13 of those years, he has led his company, [company name], to set the gold standard for customer service and excellence in the recording industry and is home to [famous people] to name a few.

He has had ten albums released and four books published, including [book name] which has become required reading for many high schools and universities [interestingly, no name dropping here].

###### has been a contributor on CNN and Canada AM, and has made over 55 other national and major market television appearances. He is also a featured speaker for [agent representing motivational speakers and their cheesy books].

###### lives in [city] and serves on the boards of several organizations. He loves spending time enjoying some of his greatest passions – hanging out with his four children, throwing large barbecues for his [famous] clients and friends…

Smart thermostats can thwart wars, save U.S. jobs

This is one of the more amusing letters to the editor I have received for CE Pro magazine. This woman is responding to an article in which I pooh pooh energy monitoring, but tout energy management. 

Forget that she totally missed the point of the article. I appreciated her insights that home automation and energy management can thwart wars. More importantly, such technology could have saved her job at a law firm where she "didn’t speak their slang Spanish!"

I could have indulged readers by dividing up this letter into a neat arrangement of paragraphs, but ... if I struggled, so can you.

I have not put reading my CEPro off due to the volume in my work schedule this afternoon I read your article on “Energy Usage” believe it or not there is a scale for rating homes “green” I personally live in the Austin Metro Area and sell these energy management systems our system is programmed to virtually adjust or shut off things such as a water heaters, we have humidity control thermostats so that the fan runs and not both the fan and compressor we control the home from anywhere in the world from our phones.  Let me explain the A/C humidity control so you fully understand it’s not the heat that makes you hot or cold it’s the humidity.  You can survive in the Dessert for days with no water yes it’s 110 but there’s no humidity come on down here to Texas when it’s 110 we had record days in that range this year and find out how fast you are hot and dead at that heat! One of the greatest features is the energy consumption due to the raise in rates and the current economy a family can see a large savings. I personally gave a reporter a tour of my home this morning she was doing a piece on energy management integrated into the home automation she was in disbelieve at what my home was capable of to include closing the garage door at 8:30 pm or if opened after 8:30 pm it closes automatically in 10 minutes it is not only a safety issue but how much energy do you think we save in a year by not constantly opening and closing that door on a weekend?  Austin, Texas is in a record drought and my system can detect that we finally got rain this past week and did not water the lawn saving our water supply.  If my home is pulling a large load my subzero can be reduced. I can go on and on about the energy management I have by utilizing HAI’s Omni Pro II. I have kept copies of our utility bills pre home automation and post automation and then I proved the date we changed the thermostats and showed the savings and then I sat down the proof of when we added the module to the water heater and then set down electric bills. We went from an average of $450 a month and yes we have changed out our dish washer, oven and fridge to the latest greatest energy star units and we now have an electric bill that averages $130 a month now add that up over a year now or add that up over the life of the home and tell me what you think about energy management now. I can retire at an earlier age if I’m generation x who is demanding this product or have a better quality of life than my next door neighbor without it and I promise you that is happening at my home they scratch their heads and wonder how we own a big boat and utilize it every weekend while they sit home….your answer is energy management and we eat out once a week. We here in Austin are very green. The City offers tax incentives to builders to build green. Everyone focuses on the gas for cars, but who is focusing on the energy this country uses for our true energy hogs our homes!

"Our homes need to be energy efficient so we can end wars, close our borders so when I walk on a job site I don’t have to be fluent in Spanish."

This system has existed and continued to evolve and it’s the one true electronic that has not been outdated, depreciated to $0 in value nor in the bottom of a landfill.  Your reference is “Microsoft” who cares they are not truly in this industry and they are so far behind every time they launch another system it fails. I got an invite for yet another run at iControl today and laughed when they have come up with a system that you are going to control the volume of your tv with your cell phone really when you get a call if your phone is your remote how are you going to mute the tv? If you are speaking on your phone how are you  going to set your alarm or turn off your lights oh and what happens when little Johnny flushes down the toilet and your budget doesn’t allow for a new phone and there’s no insurance for water damage…my laundry list is a mile long for these guys there’s a reason they invite me to their “War Table” I think more people should think about energy control and more reporting should be focused on this country’s dependence on oil and offer incentives huge tax breaks to big company’s of bring the manufacturing back and consumer service back to an English speaking country that understands what your saying when a tornado hit your home! Close that border so that people in Texas and California don’t have to be bilingual to have a job and the true Spanish speaking non-tax payers work for $8.00 an hour driving the pay rate in Texas and California next to nothing and for the honor of living in Austin I have the high costs and was laid off after 25 years of service to a law firm because I didn’t speak their slang Spanish! When looking for another job I went from $35 an hour which is billable at $75 to my firm to if I was lucky a contract job for $15 an hour with no benefits, no holidays so let’s get to the bottom line it’s abusive. Our homes need to be energy efficient so we can end wars, close our borders so when I walk on a job site I don’t have to be fluent in Spanish. I am 25% Cherokee Indian and I had to conform because this country is accommodating the border. Honestly just bringing business back to the US will bring jobs you have to renovate and repair the factories not spend money on our roads that we subcontract out to companies in Mexico that can now hire illegal aliens that pay no taxes how do you refill the bank if you pay out and no one is subject to the taxes to put it back? My married name is ##### my in-laws are off the boat from Italy and did it the right way and pay taxes they speak English. I promise you when I bring this up at the Home Builder’s Association lunch tomorrow here in Austin they will just shake their heads and agree with me we need to save our energy resources and become less dependent on other countries bottom line. So when you write a story take an objective view of who your target audience truly is. Believe it or not this is the first time I’ve responded to an article. As you say “That, and Zune.

RELATED:

Microsoft Kills Hohm Energy Management: Whither Energy Dashboards?
Don’t Confuse Home Energy ‘Management’ with ‘Monitoring’
New Energy Dashboard Forgets Microsoft, Google Lessons
Microsoft Hohm Still Silly Even with Actual Product - CE Pro Blog

    

A rockstar wants to connect with me!

Told you I was cool. Look who sent me an invitation on Linkedin! A rockstar and a "friend." Who doesn't need more of those?

Mike ONeil ♫ The LinkedIn Rockstar™ ♦ B2B LinkedIn Sales Trainer ♦ Business Social Media Expert, Speaker, Author ♦ Friend

Mike has indicated you are a person they've done business with at Integrated Alliances · I just moved to Minnesota and was hoping we could connect up. Why? I’m a LinkedIn & Social Media trainer, speaker, expert, author, entertainer and I’m generous. I just dipped below 30,000 (#1 in MN) so lets connect up while we can! Mike O’Neil The LinkedIn Rockstar

CE Pro plagiarizer gets it wrong ... again!

Please, David Richards, if you're going to steal our articles, at least get it right.

The infamous plagiarizer, proprietor of Australia's ChannelNews and SmartHouse, writes that Apple plans to launch a home automation system and "will train a squad of Genius Bar road warriors called the Genius Squad to install TV's (sic) and connected devices."

Not quite, David. 

I said in my article that "an Apple TV sale would be accompanied by professional installation … by a new group of Apple Genius Bar road warriors that Um calls the Genius Squad." [Emphasis added.]

Maynard Um is the UBS analyst who proposed such ideas in a letter to shareholders -- a letter that I couldn't find online, so instead lavished credit on Tech Trader Daily, the Barron's outlet that apparently broke the news. As usual, David provides no such courtesy, as per Web convention.

Instead, he goes along swiping choice lines from yours truly, verbatim: "Um suggests that Apple don't create a DIY or standalone home automation system, but rather something that would be part of the Apple ecosystem."

Well, almost verbatim. He says "don't create." I said "not create."

Target goes all poetic on coupons

Attention target shoppers: Raise your hand if you know what a haiku is. That's what I thought.

But apparently Target thinks their customers quite literate, sending us a book of "haiku-pons," and urging us to "stock up with poetic savings inside."

Here are some of the gems:

Fresh breath on a brush
Mint polish for your choppers
Make your momma proud

A soft, cushy roll
Is a cozy, happy joy
Sweet squares of heaven

Beware, pesky grime
A point-and-squeeze power play
Swipe, call it a day

Sandwich needs loving
Slice of swiss should do the trick
Give thanks to the cows

A pick-me-up perk
How about another cup?
Two o'clock delight

Super-powered suds
Mighty matador for stains
Look! It's good as new

Guess what's in my hand
It's a treat worth begging for
Sit, shake, roll over

And this ...

Here's the fun part: "Every coupon used makes a new haiku." Like this:

It's a Target Haiku Mash-up! "So get clipping, creating and saving."

Off her rocker: Woman calls 911 to fetch remote control

Reenactment

You know what it's like: You drop your remote control on the floor, and you're stuck on the couch, unable to reach beyond the TV dinner to grab the stray device. So there you are, suffering through commercials that you simply can't mute.

Definitely an emergency!

So why not call 911, as did a woman in Upper Saucon, Pa., requesting help to pick up her remote control?

The Morning Call reports:

The woman did not tell dispatchers why she couldn't get the remote control herself. She told police she could not get off her recliner and needed help picking up her dropped remote control, according to scanner reports.

 Read about more remote control woes.

All I got for a signature is lousy text

Click to enlarge

I received this press release recently featuring an itty bitty amount of copy and a giant picture of the PR rep that sent it out.

Now I'm just one journalist, but my preference is for the PR copy to dwarf the sender's signature, and not the other way around.

Then again, if the PR person were a hunky man and not a hot babe, I might reconsider.

If the Remote Control is in the Freezer, Where’s the Ice Cream?

“Afro” did not show up on Logitech’s survey about where people found their lost remotes. (Photo: inventorspot.com)

There's something to be said for those giant touchscreens that stay tethered to the coffee table for controlling your A/V gear: They're difficult to misplace.

As for the rest of today's remote controls -- they just keep getting smaller and smaller, often finding their way into shirt pockets that get thrown into the wash and then your spouse has a fit because you have to buy a new one and reprogram it, which was such a pain in the first place, and he swears he's going to Super Glue the next one to the end table ....

We don't know how many others are like the hypothetical consumer mentioned above, because "pockets" didn't show up on this year's Global Remote Control Trends Study by Logitech.

The manufacturer of Logitech universal remotes surveyed "thousands of people around the world" about the places they have found their lost remotes.

Survey says ...

Couch - 49%
Bathroom - 8%
Dresser drawer - 8%
Fridge/freezer - 4%
Outside or in the car - 2%

Coming soon: Now where did I leave those 3D glasses?

Potty humor at Peabody Hotel, Orlando, Fla.

Ever heard of a toilet tsunami? Neither had we until our commode at the Peabody Hotel inexplicably began bubbling up.

Throughout our three-day stay at this ritzy hotel during the Electronic House Expo, we kept hearing explosions from the bathroom as if the Loch Ness monster were coming up for air.

On the third day, we finally caught the creature in action, as it created a tsunami in the toilet and multiple aftershocks that were both hilarious and disgusting.

Toilet Tsunami


Toilet Tsunami Aftershock

She doth protest too much?

"Attached file is not virus." OK, if you say so.

Thanks for that

I received this "praise" from a CE Pro reader recently:

I always enjoy your writing and your approach.  I'm glad that you speak your mind and say what you want to say without trying to sound all perfect.

Well, I'm assuming it was meant as praise since the reader goes on to say:

Keep doing that.  Most of the other stuff is so boring. 

With that in mind, I promise to continue writing without sounding "all perfect."

I complained that I had no shoes ...

TRUE STORY:
My Mom breaks her left pinky finger.

She's all whining to her tennis teammates at the pro shop before a match. She's a righty so she can still play.

They all get introduced to the new pro behind the counter. Before they hit the courts, Mom goes to shake the woman's hand.

She doesn't have one.

Obama vs. The Invisible Hand

Who is the wiser?

Barack Obama, 2010:

Ask yourselves what you can do for America. Ask yourselves what you can do to hire American workers, to support the American economy, and to invest in this nation.

Adam Smith, 1776:

By pursuing his own interest he [the business person] frequently promotes that of the society more effectually than when he really intends to promote it. I have never known much good done by those who affected to trade for the public good.

 Credit: Donald Boudreaux, Professor of Econ., George Mason University www.cafehayek.com

Someone didn't like my Net Neutrality story, takes aim at my hair

Me in 3rd grade, 1974, and me today. By gosh, Kevin is right!

Move over, Dave Rye of X10. A worse insult I have just received! Apparently, Kevin Gumm (don't know the guy) disagrees with my old story on Net Neutrality, in which I suggest the government need not interfere with our well-oiled Web.
He writes:

I just read your editorial on Net Neutrality that Ii found on my keyboard this morning.

That was just the most retarded piece I think you and your 5th grade boy circa 1983 haircut have ever written.

I am embarrassed for you.

You should ask a grown up about Net Neutrality and turn off Fox.

Fuck you,

Kevin [Gumm]

I strenuously object to Kevin's use of the "R" word. He needs to review the video below. I do agree, however, that I need a new hairdo.

Tee hee ... He said Duty!

Not just any duty ... Extreme duty!

Caution! Unmatched pair!

Caution!! These socks do not match!

They may look alike, but one of them has an aqua-blue thread and the other a royal-blue thread, painstakingly sewed in by my mother, from whom I just inherited about 12 pairs of socks that no longer have "just the right cushioning" for her feet.