JulieJacobson.com

No Christmas presents for you!

2012-02-13T06:38:00.000-08:00

Tee hee.

SmartHouse Australia Again Steals Content from CE Pro

2012-01-30T06:58:00.000-08:00

Australian Website SmartHouse rips off Kaleidescape story from CE Pro, and still gets it wrong. Serial plagiarist David Richards at it again.


Note to David -- This is an example of a credit: Illustration gratefully created by 39 Cent Stamp for JulieJacobson.com. Visit www.wiremunky.com

This is getting really tiresome. David W. Richards, the disgraced editor of SmartHouse in Australia, once again has stolen content from CE Pro without attribution (please don't visit his site).

In his erroneously titled piece (he can’t even get it right when he steals content), “Home Movie Servers Dead After US Court Ruling,” Richards refers to a document that only CE Pro apparently has uncovered thus far: the tentative decision favoring the DVD CCA in its eight-year case against Kaleidescape.

As a serial plagiarist, Richards was outed in 2009 by a national Australian TV station for repeatedly ripping off CE Pro and countless other mostly-U.S. outlets for many years. Most of his stories back then were reproduced word for word, with perhaps the addition of: “Those products are sold in Australia, too.”

Following that scathing (and rather hilarious) broadcast, after which Richards claimed his Website was hacked and his byline was placed on stories that he never posted, he continued plagiarizing but usually in the story mentioned the original source without a link.

By then, he had learned to rewrite a few sentences, mostly adding typos and other inaccuracies (“SpeakerCraft CEO Jim Burkhardt”?). At one point, I even sent him a marked-up copy of a story he stole from us, correcting his errors.

When I continued to harangue him via email and on my personal Website, juliejacobson.com (I have a DAVID RICHARDS tag), Richards told me, "It is NOT PLAGIARISM to rewrite a story that has appeared elsewhere. ..."

What do you think is it plagiarism or not?!

If you care to contact David, please feel to mention my name if you email him at dwr@4squaremedia.com

My mother is rude and foul-mouthed

2012-01-05T08:54:00.000-08:00

My OCD mother is completely distraught about her recent relocation. It seems everything is not yet "just so." She gives this excuse for not sending Duane a birthday card this year:

No card—sorry. The main reasons are: 1) you have been a real smart-ass about the change notices I’ve sent out regarding my move to Houston and 2) I can’t find the fucking card I got for you, or a stamp, or a pen, or my address book, or my toothbrush...

And you wonder where I got it from.

Jewish Christmas 2011: A Family Dialog

2011-12-21T10:09:00.000-08:00

From: Duane Paulson
Sent: Wednesday, December 21, 2011 11:49 AM
To: Maggie Paulson; Nick Paulson; Julie Jacobson
Subject: Jewish Christmas movies

Duane: I know this is a momentous decision (remember Dream Girls?!). Nominations are now open. Here are mine:
The Descendants
Young Adult
Iron Lady
Girl with Dragon Tattoo

Maggie: I'm down for The Descendants or Young Adult!

Nick: I have no preference, I just wanna spend time with my family (cue the 'awwwws' from dad and Julie and the eye rolling from Maggie)

Julie: Nick gets $50 extra.

Maggie: Nick, you were so right. Before I even got to the part where you said I would roll my eyes...I already said "dear god" in my head! So smart!

Happy .xxx day!

2011-12-10T09:48:00.001-08:00

AVN/AEE 2007 (JJ on right)

The Web-powers-that-be opened .xxx domain names yesterday. As of this writing, juliejacobson.xxx is still available but I hesitate to drop $129 on it.

Even so, I thought we'd celebrate the day with a look back on the most memorable porn moments in my professional career. For years, our most highly-trafficked stories on CEPro.com involved xxx-related musings, mostly of a technological (i.e., relevant) nature.

For several of those years, if you Googled blu-ray+porn, my stories topped the list. Those were proud moments indeed.

It is true, the porn industry has driven the adoption and/or selection of key technologies related to my field, including video formats, interactivity, streaming and 3D. I thank them for that. So does my husband Duane Paulson, who served as my photographer for several AVN/AEE expos.

Here are some of the top articles and choice quotes over the years (Pictures here).

Top Porn Publisher Changes Mind on Blu-ray, Ships 4 HD DVD Titles
They say Betamax lost to VHS because VHS had more porn titles. Will the adult video industry hold similar sway in the high-def DVD battle?

"It's so much fun to play with technology," Joone says. "It's almost like an R&D place, where you can try new things and not really be worried."

One of those new things was "interactive sex," which Joone pioneered in the early 1990s with CD ROM-based videos that put you in the middle of the action.

"You have this girl, and you can put her in any position, change camera angles, change demeanor," he says. "She can be innocent or nasty. You can record what you're doing and play it back."

Wither Blu-ray? Porn Industry Backs HD DVD
If you thought all the Blu-ray and HD DVD action was at CES, then obviously you didn’t visit the show-next-door, the Adult Entertainment Expo.

"Most replication services are either owned by Sony or have ties to Disney," producer Tom Funk says. Neither organization, it seems, wants to tarnish its family-friendly reputation by cranking out dirty movies.

Reader favorite:
High Definition Doesn’t Scare Porn Stars
"People, especially who have never seen high definition, are blown away by it." said Joone (that's the whole name), founder of Digital Playground, a producer of some of the more cinematically rich adult entertainment titles.

"You have to be a little more self-conscious. You see every little flaw. ... I think it makes women more comfortable because they can see that nobody's perfect. ... We don't necessarily wear more makeup, but we make sure to drink lots of water to keep skin clear."- - Jesse Jane, Digital Playground

What the Bleep?! - News Article
Smut filters gone wild on CEPro.com

Until we changed the smut filter, my bio boasted that I had graduated magna ### laude from the University of Michigan.

Porn Industry Warms Up to Blu-ray
Leading video producer Digital Playground to ship first XXX title in Blu-ray format, after year-long success with HD DVD.

Digital Playground claims to be the first shop to release a dual-layer adult video. The company’s Island Fever 4 originally shipped in a multidisc set. “To fit it all in there, you needed three discs,” Joone laments. “We’re the first company to do dual layer, so it all fits on one disc. It makes for a better user experience because now they don’t have to change the disc in the middle of the video.”

CE Companies Ambivalent About Targeting the Porn Industry
Video conferencing, digital media adapters, 3D screens debut at Adult Entertainment Expo.

One exhibitor, demonstrating a digital media adapter, begged us not to use the company's "real" name or the names of the booth personnel. At AEE the exhibitor called itself PCtoTV, but the corporation actually is a prominent silicon vendor whose technology can be found in digital media adapters from name-brand CE vendors.

A woman at the booth said that top company officials had religious inclinations that were not consistent with the porn industry.

Will Adult Entertainment Influence 3D TV Movement? - CE Pro Blog
Porn industry may hasten the adoption of 3D TV in the home, but probably won't influence the direction of 3D technology

"We feel our content and delivery system creates a virtual voyeuristic and participatory reaction from viewers. ... We are aiming to create an intriguing immersive reality for all of our customers,” -- Lance Johnson, Bad Girls in 3D

JJ & the porn industry: photo album here

The wonder of cellphone charging

2011-12-10T06:34:00.001-08:00

Mom: I really need to get some sleep tonight, but I don’t want to unplug my home phone in case of emergencies.

Me: So leave your cellphone on for emergencies.

Mom: I can’t do that. I charge it at night.

Eulogy for Ruth "Nonny" Setters nee Wagner

2011-12-09T06:31:00.001-08:00

Susan Jacobson & Nonny

My mother, Susan Jacobson, delivered this beautiful eulogy for my grandmother, Ruth "Nonny" Setters in Buffalo on Dec. 7, 2011.

Nonny led a long and happy (and irreverent life) for 97 years. In delivering the eulogy, my Mom had the added responsibility of closing the chapter on the Wagner family -- what the rabbi called "the biggest family I have ever seen."

Nonny was the end of the line for 8 Wagner sisters -- "all with great legs and not one of them a tramp." The cousins, friends and other relatives enjoyed the celebration of Nonny's unusual life.

Please share your favorite Ruthie memories in the comments section below. Note that you don't have to include your contact info. Just click the option for name/URL and enter your name.

I have posted a photo album of the last two Buffalo reunions on Facebook, plus lots of golden oldies. Still working on captions, and figuring out how you guys can do the same. Click here for photos.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Eulogy by Susan Jacobson
When my father died in 1994, I gave his eulogy. When I was finished I rejoined my mother inthe pew. She patted my hand and whispered, “That was so beautiful.”

I leaned over toher and whispered, I’m really glad you liked it. I’m only sorry you won’t be around for yours. I’ve got something really specialplanned.”

She couldn’t contain herself and started laughing so hardshe was shaking—you know that silent, forbidden “temple” or “church” laugh. Fortunately it appeared as though she were crying.

I begin with this because it illustrates probably thegreatest legacy my mother left me—and others: a sense of humor.

My mom was fun, funny, and fun-loving--with anexceedingly irreverent sense of humor. The aides that cared for her over thepast 7 years—in particular Trisha Chibaniwho was with her for all those years and Denyse Sirianni who came on a little later—they adored her. And she wasn’t always easy. (continues)

She was also extremely charitable, involved in bothJewish Federation and Temple Beth Zion. She was very proud of being President of Temple Sisterhood. And one of my early memories was her beinginvolved in something called “the Aid Club” which helped WW II Jewish refugeefamilies. I remember clearly some of thefamilies she brought to our home on Parkside Ave. to give them clothes, food,pots, pans, linens, books to get them started.

They will be retiring Ruthie's no.

Most of all, though, my mom’s greatest pride was being aWagner—“the baby” of 8 girls as she described herself throughout her life.

When she was born my grandfather called her Patrick forseveral weeks. According to my mother,he would say in Yiddish, “8 girls, not an easy thing.” “8 girls” so the saying went, “all with greatlegs and not one of them a tramp. “

She is the last todie, and I feel a huge weight of responsibility to be the one to close thechapter on the Wagner girls. This is aeulogy for my mother—in a way—but in another sense it’s a eulogy for the Wagnerera and the rich and enviable legacy they left their 14 children, 13grandchildren and countless great-grandchildren.

All of the sisters grew up in Buffalo, and all but Miriamstayed to raise their children. All butAmy and Tillie lived within 2 blocks of each other on Sterling Ave. Every month they convened for Sister’sClub—all preferring to meet at Lillian’s because she was the best baker. Why they had to formally meet, I don’t know,because my recollection is that they each spoke to one another nearly everyday.

Can you imagine what a gift it was to all these cousins,most around the same age, growing up within 2 blocks of each other? We were andstill are like sisters and brothers. Andthat goes for the cousins-in-law as well.

The most wondrous thing of all for us is that we had momsfor all seasons:

8 Wagner sisters & husbands (Ruth Setters at right) - Click to enlarge

Grammarquestions and all things intellectual went to Aunt Sylvia.
Hugsand kisses came from the sweetest—Aunt Tillie.
A glum mood could be changed by Aunt Charlotte’srose-colored glasses.
Aunt Amy—the self-appointed family boss—always had atreasure trove of gifts in her bottom dresser drawer for us to take whenever wewanted or needed something. In thetradition of the great intellectuals, her philosophy was, “You buy, you got.”
Aunt Ruthie provided the comic relief.
Aunt Ethel wrote clever songs and poems for all of ourrehearsal dinners. She also hosted anannual faux Christmas.
Not so Aunt Lillian, but if you wanted great hamantashenshe was the one to go to.
We missed out on not knowing Aunt Miriam well, but I canattest that she was definitely the most liberated. When she came to SA , well into her 70’s, formy son, Andy’s bar mitzvah she checked in and told the receptionist “It’s MRS.Szerlip, but if anyone asks I’m not married.”

I will end by thanking you for coming and for indulgingmy family memories. And thank you forloving my mom.

When she and I shared a particularly irreverent laugh,I’d say, “Oh, Mom, I am really gonna miss you.”

I already do.

Please share your favorite Ruth Setters memories in the comments section below (Just click on "name/url" to enter your name.)

More Wagner Family pics!
Also, check out the photo album of the last two Buffalo reunions here. We would appreciate it if you got yourself a Flickr account in order to create captions, titles, descriptions, details, etc. to the images. It's simple to do (I'm sure Seena can show you how!).

8 Wagner Sisters (see album for more)

Nonny holding court, Buffalo reunion 2006

Nonny with kids, nieces, nephews

Nonny and me

Nonny with great grandson Ian Jacobson

With great grandkids Jake & Allie Schachter, Ian Jacobson

Lots more pics including golden oldies in the Wagner/Setters photo album (click here)

Moseying up to the WiFi Counter

2011-11-21T05:20:00.001-08:00

My Mom Susan Jacobson tells me she wanted to access free WiFi at the San Antonio airport ... but a seat at the "WiFi counter" never opened up.

But wait, there's more.

At the Houston airport -- where WiFi is not gratis -- she finds a spot at the "WiFi station" for her and her shiny new laptop. But where's the free WiFi?

So she asks her neighbor at the computer station where you're supposed to sit for the free WiFi.

Oh, mom!

Sucky keynote: a spoof

2011-10-30T08:30:00.000-07:00

I was feeling pretty good about my lambaste of one of the worst all-time keynote addresses. But then I received this spoof of the speech from an unfortunate attendee, which puts my piece to shame:

The Institute for Self-Promotion and Gratification presents,

“Be All That You Can Be”

or

“I can’t believe the Army ripped that off of me, but I’m afraid to Challenge, because they have guns…and know the IRS”

Welcome, everyone, I’d just like you to know that I am very successful, and am almost definitely worth more than any of you in this room, but I try to be as humble as possible normally; just like Sting told me when we were backpacking together in Nepal, along with Brad, Angelina, and their kids. They love me.

First, nothing you can learn from comes from a cliché; they are useless, shallow, and usually completely irrelevant. At the end of the day, I believe you have to have your game face on, bring the right tools to the party, put your best foot forward, and shoot for the sky. Reach high, because every journey starts with a single step, but it’s not really the destination, but what kind of upgrade you’re going to get when you get there. I am usually upgraded because of my friends, the Rockefellers, the Hiltons, and the Lohans. Gosh, they’re fun to hang out with.

So anyway, remember, while you can’t be as successful as me, we are essentially the same person, only I’m better than you. We’re in the same business. Show business. And I’m the star of the show; and you little people are my stagehands; doing you little job too, is equally as important. Except that it’s not.

So take heed and solace in that I was once like you; only I got better. With the help of some really, really famous, rich people, I stumbled into the hallway of darkness, and tripped out into the backyard of pure actualization. As in, I actually meant to go out the to the front yard. And then I turned on the BBQ of prosperity, and applied the marinade of contentment all over Faith Hill’s body. That’s when I was asked to leave.

But I used up all of my credit cards I could get, and continued to keep providing the sandwiches of service, until I just knew that there was a light at the end of that tunnel, an answer to my prayers, a safe harbor for my ship in the storm, and another very successful booking with Neil Diamond, and many other virtually obsolete names from another time.

My friend Bill Gates once said to me, “Are you sure you want to exit this program”, and I said to him, “Billy, in this life, there is no exit, only a rest area, on this highway of life”. So I turned to Prince, and said that if the elevator does try to break you down, don’t go crazy, go to Nashville, and stay in my hotel. We have room. Mrs. Baters just checked out last week.

Thank you everyone…. please try to be all that you can be. But if you want to be truly, truly great, be as successful as me”.

God Bless Me; oh wait ,he already has……. Good night, everybody….

Nice young policeman takes mother-in-law to church

2011-10-30T07:55:00.000-07:00

Nothing can keep my 89-year-old mother-in-law Jewell and her boyfriend Bob from church. Bob's car was sideswiped the other day -- no one was injured, thankfully -- and Jewell sent us this report:

Jewell playing dress-up
The fellow driving was probably in his 60's and whenwe got out of the cars, he said "I didn't see you. I'm blind in my righteye." Bob said the guy told him he had just come from the hospital wherehe had a treatment of some sort -- Bob thought he said dialysis. ...

I called the Police Dept. on my cell and a nice young manarrived. It took quite a while to gather all the information. ...

The policeman gave us aride to church in the patrol car, which was quite funny. Bars on thewindows, people gawking to see who was being hauled in. I wouldn't wantto ride far in it. No cushions in the back, just sitting on bare hard plastic.

Tomorrow I have a 10 AMappointment at Cemtra Care by hospital to get my ears "dewaxed".

Publishing letters to creditors is 'slanderous at best'

2011-10-23T04:27:00.000-07:00

From the INSULTS file: response to a "story" I posted that did little more than quote a letter to creditors:

Dear Julia [sic],

I can’t tell you how pathetic your story of our Asset Purchase of ### was. There was so little fact in this article.

I would suggest talking to all parties before printing something that our attorneys believe to be slanderous at best. If you had bothered to do any research you would have found that this all cash purchase also hired all sales and technical staff as well as took over the responsibility of all jobs in progress and service of all past jobs. It also created a new company with revenues well in excess of 11 Million Dollars.

I expect this article to removed and a full retraction within 24 hours before we move ahead with any damage claims against you.

Follow-up: No damage claims were filed.

I told you the motivational speaker would suck

2011-10-15T14:25:00.000-07:00

Granted, I don't like most keynote speakers, particularly those of the "motivational" variety.

The good news is that I can pick the potentially bearable presenters from their bios alone. Those that lead with "guru" or "world-renowned" I can safely assume will not impart anything useful for me to share with my colleagues back home.

So when I read the bio of this "innovative" speaker (below), I said to the other conferees: I don't like this guy. He is going to talk about his books and his rich clients. I'm going to give it a miss.

Needless to say, I was right. I found this out during the presentation while Skyping back and forth with an attendee who gave me the blow-by-blow.

Here's an excerpt:

[5:27:36 PM] me: how's the keynote?

[5:28:19 PM] him: Sucks. I hate him already.

[5:28:44 PM] me: seriously? You'll have to do a shot every time he mentions a client.

[5:29:15 PM] him: Or everytime he mentions his latest book!

[5:29:30 PM] me: OK, that!

[5:34:37 PM] him: Now he's trying to tell jokes...

[5:36:02 PM] me: are they jokes about his books and clients?

[5:38:51 PM] him: He's now talking about [famous client]

[5:49:44 PM] him: Now telling [another famous person] stories

.....

[6:01:26 PM] him: It turns out that u should exceed expectations...
[6:01:26 PM] me: Well, @!$# me. I should've been there!
[6:04:08 PM] him: He will give us a free poster of himself! Seriously!!
[6:07:21 PM] me: no frickin' way. What are you supposed to do with that?
[6:13:58 PM] him: He's reading to us from his poster...
[6:15:02 PM] me: Ask him how much you would have to pay for it otherwise?
[6:16:55 PM] him: He will even sign it for you!!!
[6:17:15 PM] me: is that free too?
[6:18:25 PM] him: Be the miracle!
[6:18:48 PM] me: NO, YOU be the miracle! You can do it!

The Bio
You should have seen the warning signs!

###### is a speaker, author, entrepreneur, business owner and one of the most innovative guitarists in the world. With over 2,000 presentations to his name, his expertise on leadership and customer service comes from 30 hard-won years in the trenches as an entrepreneur.

For the past 13 of those years, he has led his company, [company name], to set the gold standard for customer service and excellence in the recording industry and is home to [famous people] to name a few.

He has had ten albums released and four books published, including [book name] which has become required reading for many high schools and universities [interestingly, no name dropping here].

###### has been a contributor on CNN and Canada AM, and has made over 55 other national and major market television appearances. He is also a featured speaker for [agent representing motivational speakers and their cheesy books].

###### lives in [city] and serves on the boards of several organizations. He loves spending time enjoying some of his greatest passions – hanging out with his four children, throwing large barbecues for his [famous] clients and friends…

Smart thermostats can thwart wars, save U.S. jobs

2011-10-13T06:19:00.000-07:00

This is one of the more amusing letters to the editor I have received for CE Pro magazine. This woman is responding to an article in which I pooh pooh energy monitoring, but tout energy management.

Forget that she totally missed the point of the article. I appreciated her insights that home automation and energy management can thwart wars. More importantly, such technology could have saved her job at a law firm where she "didn’t speak their slang Spanish!"

I could have indulged readers by dividing up this letter into a neat arrangement of paragraphs, but ... if I struggled, so can you.

I have not put reading my CEPro off due to the volume in my work schedule this afternoon I read your article on “Energy Usage” believe it or not there is a scale for rating homes “green” I personally live in the Austin Metro Area and sell these energy management systems our system is programmed to virtually adjust or shut off things such as a water heaters, we have humidity control thermostats so that the fan runs and not both the fan and compressor we control the home from anywhere in the world from our phones. Let me explain the A/C humidity control so you fully understand it’s not the heat that makes you hot or cold it’s the humidity. You can survive in the Dessert for days with no water yes it’s 110 but there’s no humidity come on down here to Texas when it’s 110 we had record days in that range this year and find out how fast you are hot and dead at that heat! One of the greatest features is the energy consumption due to the raise in rates and the current economy a family can see a large savings. I personally gave a reporter a tour of my home this morning she was doing a piece on energy management integrated into the home automation she was in disbelieve at what my home was capable of to include closing the garage door at 8:30 pm or if opened after 8:30 pm it closes automatically in 10 minutes it is not only a safety issue but how much energy do you think we save in a year by not constantly opening and closing that door on a weekend? Austin, Texas is in a record drought and my system can detect that we finally got rain this past week and did not water the lawn saving our water supply. If my home is pulling a large load my subzero can be reduced. I can go on and on about the energy management I have by utilizing HAI’s Omni Pro II. I have kept copies of our utility bills pre home automation and post automation and then I proved the date we changed the thermostats and showed the savings and then I sat down the proof of when we added the module to the water heater and then set down electric bills. We went from an average of $450 a month and yes we have changed out our dish washer, oven and fridge to the latest greatest energy star units and we now have an electric bill that averages $130 a month now add that up over a year now or add that up over the life of the home and tell me what you think about energy management now. I can retire at an earlier age if I’m generation x who is demanding this product or have a better quality of life than my next door neighbor without it and I promise you that is happening at my home they scratch their heads and wonder how we own a big boat and utilize it every weekend while they sit home….your answer is energy management and we eat out once a week. We here in Austin are very green. The City offers tax incentives to builders to build green. Everyone focuses on the gas for cars, but who is focusing on the energy this country uses for our true energy hogs our homes!

"Our homes need to be energy efficient so we can end wars, close our borders so when I walk on a job site I don’t have to be fluent in Spanish."

This system has existed and continued to evolve and it’s the one true electronic that has not been outdated, depreciated to $0 in value nor in the bottom of a landfill. Your reference is “Microsoft” who cares they are not truly in this industry and they are so far behind every time they launch another system it fails. I got an invite for yet another run at iControl today and laughed when they have come up with a system that you are going to control the volume of your tv with your cell phone really when you get a call if your phone is your remote how are you going to mute the tv? If you are speaking on your phone how are you going to set your alarm or turn off your lights oh and what happens when little Johnny flushes down the toilet and your budget doesn’t allow for a new phone and there’s no insurance for water damage…my laundry list is a mile long for these guys there’s a reason they invite me to their “War Table” I think more people should think about energy control and more reporting should be focused on this country’s dependence on oil and offer incentives huge tax breaks to big company’s of bring the manufacturing back and consumer service back to an English speaking country that understands what your saying when a tornado hit your home! Close that border so that people in Texas and California don’t have to be bilingual to have a job and the true Spanish speaking non-tax payers work for $8.00 an hour driving the pay rate in Texas and California next to nothing and for the honor of living in Austin I have the high costs and was laid off after 25 years of service to a law firm because I didn’t speak their slang Spanish! When looking for another job I went from $35 an hour which is billable at $75 to my firm to if I was lucky a contract job for $15 an hour with no benefits, no holidays so let’s get to the bottom line it’s abusive. Our homes need to be energy efficient so we can end wars, close our borders so when I walk on a job site I don’t have to be fluent in Spanish. I am 25% Cherokee Indian and I had to conform because this country is accommodating the border. Honestly just bringing business back to the US will bring jobs you have to renovate and repair the factories not spend money on our roads that we subcontract out to companies in Mexico that can now hire illegal aliens that pay no taxes how do you refill the bank if you pay out and no one is subject to the taxes to put it back? My married name is ##### my in-laws are off the boat from Italy and did it the right way and pay taxes they speak English. I promise you when I bring this up at the Home Builder’s Association lunch tomorrow here in Austin they will just shake their heads and agree with me we need to save our energy resources and become less dependent on other countries bottom line. So when you write a story take an objective view of who your target audience truly is. Believe it or not this is the first time I’ve responded to an article. As you say “That, and Zune.

A rockstar wants to connect with me!

2011-08-11T03:23:00.000-07:00

Told you I was cool. Look who sent me an invitation on Linkedin! A rockstar and a "friend." Who doesn't need more of those?

Mike ONeil ♫ The LinkedIn Rockstar™ ♦ B2B LinkedIn Sales Trainer ♦ Business Social Media Expert, Speaker, Author ♦ Friend
Mike has indicated you are a person they've done business with at Integrated Alliances · I just moved to Minnesota and was hoping we could connect up. Why? I’m a LinkedIn & Social Media trainer, speaker, expert, author, entertainer and I’m generous. I just dipped below 30,000 (#1 in MN) so lets connect up while we can! Mike O’Neil The LinkedIn Rockstar

CE Pro plagiarizer gets it wrong ... again!

2011-07-12T10:16:00.000-07:00

Please, David Richards, if you're going to steal our articles, at least get it right.

The infamous plagiarizer, proprietor of Australia's ChannelNews and SmartHouse, writes that Apple plans to launch a home automation system and "will train a squad of Genius Bar road warriors called the Genius Squad to install TV's (sic) and connected devices."

Not quite, David.

I said in my article that "an Apple TV sale would be accompanied by professional installation … by a new group of Apple Genius Bar road warriors that Um calls the Genius Squad." [Emphasis added.]

Maynard Um is the UBS analyst who proposed such ideas in a letter to shareholders -- a letter that I couldn't find online, so instead lavished credit on Tech Trader Daily, the Barron's outlet that apparently broke the news. As usual, David provides no such courtesy, as per Web convention.

Instead, he goes along swiping choice lines from yours truly, verbatim: "Um suggests that Apple don't create a DIY or standalone home automation system, but rather something that would be part of the Apple ecosystem."

Well, almost verbatim. He says "don't create." I said "not create."

Target goes all poetic on coupons

2011-07-01T04:15:00.000-07:00

Attention target shoppers: Raise your hand if you know what a haiku is. That's what I thought.

But apparently Target thinks their customers quite literate, sending us a book of "haiku-pons," and urging us to "stock up with poetic savings inside."

Here are some of the gems:

Fresh breath on a brush
Mint polish for your choppers
Make your momma proud

A soft, cushy roll
Is a cozy, happy joy
Sweet squares of heaven

Beware, pesky grime
A point-and-squeeze power play
Swipe, call it a day

Sandwich needs loving
Slice of swiss should do the trick
Give thanks to the cows

A pick-me-up perk
How about another cup?
Two o'clock delight

Super-powered suds
Mighty matador for stains
Look! It's good as new

Guess what's in my hand
It's a treat worth begging for
Sit, shake, roll over

And this ...

Here's the fun part: "Every coupon used makes a new haiku." Like this:

It's a Target Haiku Mash-up! "So get clipping, creating and saving."

Off her rocker: Woman calls 911 to fetch remote control

2011-05-08T06:32:00.000-07:00

Reenactment

You know what it's like: You drop your remote control on the floor, and you're stuck on the couch, unable to reach beyond the TV dinner to grab the stray device. So there you are, suffering through commercials that you simply can't mute.

Definitely an emergency!

So why not call 911, as did a woman in Upper Saucon, Pa., requesting help to pick up her remote control?

The Morning Call reports:

The woman did not tell dispatchers why she couldn't get the remote control herself. She told police she could not get off her recliner and needed help picking up her dropped remote control, according to scanner reports.

Read about more remote control woes.

All I got for a signature is lousy text

2011-04-17T05:39:00.000-07:00

Click to enlarge

I received this press release recently featuring an itty bitty amount of copy and a giant picture of the PR rep that sent it out.

Now I'm just one journalist, but my preference is for the PR copy to dwarf the sender's signature, and not the other way around.

Then again, if the PR person were a hunky man and not a hot babe, I might reconsider.

If the Remote Control is in the Freezer, Where’s the Ice Cream?

2011-03-23T08:35:00.000-07:00

“Afro” did not show up on Logitech’s survey about where people found their lost remotes. (Photo: inventorspot.com)

There's something to be said for those giant touchscreens that stay tethered to the coffee table for controlling your A/V gear: They're difficult to misplace.

As for the rest of today's remote controls -- they just keep getting smaller and smaller, often finding their way into shirt pockets that get thrown into the wash and then your spouse has a fit because you have to buy a new one and reprogram it, which was such a pain in the first place, and he swears he's going to Super Glue the next one to the end table ....

We don't know how many others are like the hypothetical consumer mentioned above, because "pockets" didn't show up on this year's Global Remote Control Trends Study by Logitech.

The manufacturer of Logitech universal remotes surveyed "thousands of people around the world" about the places they have found their lost remotes.

Survey says ...

Couch - 49%
Bathroom - 8%
Dresser drawer - 8%
Fridge/freezer - 4%
Outside or in the car - 2%

Coming soon: Now where did I leave those 3D glasses?

Potty humor at Peabody Hotel, Orlando, Fla.

2011-03-21T07:56:00.000-07:00

Ever heard of a toilet tsunami? Neither had we until our commode at the Peabody Hotel inexplicably began bubbling up.

Throughout our three-day stay at this ritzy hotel during the Electronic House Expo, we kept hearing explosions from the bathroom as if the Loch Ness monster were coming up for air.

On the third day, we finally caught the creature in action, as it created a tsunami in the toilet and multiple aftershocks that were both hilarious and disgusting.

Toilet Tsunami

Toilet Tsunami Aftershock

She doth protest too much?

2011-03-21T06:01:00.001-07:00

"Attached file is not virus." OK, if you say so.

Thanks for that

2011-03-07T05:23:00.000-08:00

I received this "praise" from a CE Pro reader recently:

I always enjoy your writing and your approach. I'm glad that you speak your mind and say what you want to say without trying to sound all perfect.

Well, I'm assuming it was meant as praise since the reader goes on to say:

Keep doing that. Most of the other stuff is so boring.

With that in mind, I promise to continue writing without sounding "all perfect."

I complained that I had no shoes ...

2011-03-04T12:19:00.000-08:00

TRUE STORY:
My Mom breaks her left pinky finger.

She's all whining to her tennis teammates at the pro shop before a match. She's a righty so she can still play.

They all get introduced to the new pro behind the counter. Before they hit the courts, Mom goes to shake the woman's hand.

She doesn't have one.

Obama vs. The Invisible Hand

2011-02-08T11:31:00.000-08:00

Who is the wiser?

Barack Obama, 2010:

Ask yourselves what you can do for America. Ask yourselves what you can do to hire American workers, to support the American economy, and to invest in this nation.

Adam Smith, 1776:

By pursuing his own interest he [the business person] frequently promotes that of the society more effectually than when he really intends to promote it. I have never known much good done by those who affected to trade for the public good.

Credit: Donald Boudreaux, Professor of Econ., George Mason University www.cafehayek.com

Someone didn't like my Net Neutrality story, takes aim at my hair

2011-02-07T07:23:00.000-08:00

Me in 3rd grade, 1974, and me today. By gosh, Kevin is right!

Move over, Dave Rye of X10. A worse insult I have just received! Apparently, Kevin Gumm (don't know the guy) disagrees with my old story on Net Neutrality, in which I suggest the government need not interfere with our well-oiled Web.
He writes:

I just read your editorial on Net Neutrality that Ii found on my keyboard this morning.

That was just the most retarded piece I think you and your 5th grade boy circa 1983 haircut have ever written.

I am embarrassed for you.

You should ask a grown up about Net Neutrality and turn off Fox.

Fuck you,

Kevin [Gumm]

I strenuously object to Kevin's use of the "R" word. He needs to review the video below. I do agree, however, that I need a new hairdo.

Tee hee ... He said Duty!

2010-12-30T05:21:00.000-08:00

Not just any duty ... Extreme duty!

Caution! Unmatched pair!

2010-12-26T11:56:00.000-08:00

Caution!! These socks do not match!

They may look alike, but one of them has an aqua-blue thread and the other a royal-blue thread, painstakingly sewed in by my mother, from whom I just inherited about 12 pairs of socks that no longer have "just the right cushioning" for her feet.

Holiday travel advice

2010-12-21T10:23:00.000-08:00

1) Don't leave San Antonio during record-breaking heat wave
2) to MSP during near-record snow spell
3) via Green Bay
4) with tamales in a suit case
5) that was accidentally routed to Memphis

What would mom think of video games today?

2010-11-23T04:56:00.000-08:00

June 28, 1968 (no that's not my mother on the cover)

Look what I found: a letter to the editor of Time magazine, dated June 28, 1968, submitted by Susan Jacobson, my mother.

What is, perhaps, even more amusing than the prudishness of my mom back then, is her decidedly un-feminist ways. Look how she signs the letter!

Sir: If we think we're a violent nation now, just wait until our young children grow up. My childhood was neuter dolls, chutes and ladders, and Little Lulu. Today's childhood is erotic dolls, authentic replicas of war guns (complete with vivid sounds) and a Saturday morning TV listing with enough sadism and murder to give even the most hardened criminal ideas.

MRS. NORMAN L. JACOBSON San Antonio

Look, ma, the competitor loves us

2010-10-23T14:11:00.000-07:00

It's always flattering when other Web sites link to articles written by my colleagues and me for Electronic House and CE Pro.

It's doubly flattering when those Web sites are competitors.

And triply flattering when our articles comprise the majority of the competitor's email newsletter.

My CE Pro article "Next-Gen Apple TV Doesn't Play Nice with Home Control" headlined the most recent news roundup from friendly rival Custom Retailer.

There are seven more articles from CE Pro and our sister EH publications:

Thinking About Expanding To Provide A/V Installation Services? ProSound Web
Are You Celebrating National AV Week? CE Pro
Apple’s iPad and Automation, Weighing the Good and the Bad, Electronic House
How to Use iPads for Security-Only Applications CEPro
A New Era of Energy Management CEPro
Meet Your 5 Biggest Energy Hogs Electronic House
3D TV Sales Not Reaching Expectations Electronic House

Damn, we're good!

I'm famous!

Eager exhibitor

2010-10-13T13:43:00.000-07:00

EH Publishing produces the Robotics TechZone at CES and we just sold another booth.

In fact, we sold it to one of the most eager exhibitors ever. He writes:

Sure I read your e-mail. Thank you for fast reply.

However, I am at a hospital because my wife is having a baby and she is struggling right now.

I can do internet but I don't think I can fax you until the baby's birth.

Hopefully tomorrow morning I can send you the document.

I am not sure that will be okay to you. Let me know if you need it faster so I can find solution.

We granted the reprieve not because his wife was having a baby but because she was struggling at the time.

City Hall candidate continues run after assault with a remote control

2010-10-10T05:54:00.000-07:00

Don MacNeil, a candidate for city hall in Canada, was found guilty of throwing a remote control at his wife.

The woman suffered a bruised thigh, but the condition of the remote was not reported.

Unlike most remote-control attacks, this one was not spurred by arguments over channel and volume controls.

Instead, MacNeil says he threw the device at his wife because she was domineering and “would not allow him to have friends or have any money,” Canada’s cnews reports.

The news report continues:

"I am a victim of spousal abuse and the only reason I was charged is because I am a male," MacNeil insisted, weeping on the witness stand. "I contacted the women's shelter because there are no shelters for abused men in the country."

The domestic abuse charge will not deter MacNeil’s run for city hall in Barrie, Ont.

“It won’t stop me,” he said.

Will no Americans pick a bail of cotton?

2010-10-04T10:24:00.000-07:00

The St. Paul (Minn.) Pioneer Press reports, "Americans reject jobs in fields," based on an AP story by Garance Burke (emphasis added):

It's a question rekindled by the recession: Are immigrants taking jobs away from American citizens? In the heart of the nation's biggest farming state, the answer is a resounding no.

Government data analyzed by the Associated Press show most Americans simply don't apply to harvest fruits and vegetables. And the few Americans who do usually don't stay in the fields.

"It's just not something that most Americans are going to pack up their bags and move here to do," said farmer Steve Fortin, who pays $10.25 an hour to foreign workers to trim strawberry plants at his nursery near the Nevada border.

The analysis showed that, from January to June, California farmers posted ads for 1,160 farmworker positions open to U.S. citizens and legal residents.

But only 233 people in those categories applied after learning of the jobs through unemployment offices in California, Texas, Nevada and Arizona.

One grower brought on 36. No one else hired any.

[MORE]

$0 or $7.25 but nothing in between

2010-10-04T07:56:00.000-07:00

Now this is interesting:

Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-OH) and other public officials campaign for higher minimum wages, but then they recruit "interns" for unpaid positions.

So it's OK to pay less than minimum wage if the job is in the public sector, or if the employee potentially learns something on the job, but it's not OK to hire someone who's desperate for income and is willing to work for $5.00 per hour?

So, here are your choices: You can work for $0 per hour or $7.25 per hour, but nothing in between.

[inspired by Donald Boudreaux, CafeHayek.com]

Where's the decolletage?

2010-10-03T07:38:00.000-07:00

I was all set to cheer when I saw this WSJ headline: The Bosom is Back.

There was talk of "chest-centric fall style" that "celebrate a well-endowed figure."

In one fashion show, "Decolletage shone" on the runways.

So what, pray tell, is this model doing in the story?

No bosom here

If this represents a "curvy new road," then I'm friggin' Lombard Street.

Trust me

2010-09-18T05:45:00.000-07:00

I don't know. Something's a little fishy about this one.

That amplifier is so skirt-as-a-shirt!

2010-09-17T03:20:00.000-07:00

I take my civic responsibilities very seriously. So when some insensitive installer said in a public forum that a new URC multiroom amplifier "looks gay," I knew I had to speak up.

Thankfully, I received inspiration from Hilary Duff by way of this "Think Before You Speak" public service announcement.

Don't be afraid to tell someone it's not ok to say, "That's so gay."

By the way, do you think the URC DMS-1200 multizone amp is like wearing a skirt as a shirt?

A modern Day O'Connor?

2010-09-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

Rosario, O'Connor: Separated at Birth?

I rarely write letters to the St. Paul Pioneer Press editor, but I couldn't resist it this time, when a human-interest columnist compared his plight to that of Sandra Day O'Connor's.

Ruben Rosario empathizes with Justice Sandra Day O’Connor (“When a high court justice had to work unpaid,” Sept. 12), who could find no law firm willing to employ a Stanford-educated woman in the 1950s.

She had to work gratis before landing a paid job as an attorney.

Rosario knows her plight all too well because he too “wrote close to 50 newspaper articles unpaid while fetching coffee …. I was passed over a few times in favor of fair-haired boys who had relatives in the newsroom.”

Right. Rosario is a modern Day O’Connor.

Did it ever occur to Rosario that he was passed over not for the color of his skin or his Hispanic surname, but for his sappy writing, which is as banal as the subjects he covers?

Julie Jacobson
Stillwater

Little people welcome here!

2010-09-10T14:55:00.000-07:00

I stumbled across this online advertisement recently and thought it was lovely how a store could be so sensitive to little people.

I remember on one of those TV shows a little guy stepped into an A/V shop and requested a low-set television. The salespeople balked. "No way, man. You want us to install a TV, we're going to do it at regulation height!"

So it was refreshing to see the above ad.

There is, of course, a typo. The first "E" should be a "-"

Anyway, the company got it right in the graphic below.

Expose your business. Get it? Expose!

2010-09-09T07:42:00.000-07:00

You're not going to believe this. Truly, you're not.

I'm doing this brief blog about an industry Web site that happens to have an amusing "About Us" page. So I search Google Images for something quite the opposite: a boring "About Us" page.

And just look what I found:

Boring? I should say not!

And look at these amusing tag lines:

Contact Ace Infoway today to create a Web site for you! It's complicated, but this is how they work:

Moi? "A really good writer with intelligent mind"

2010-09-05T09:11:00.000-07:00

I get such little praise for my work, that I just had to share this old email from Tracy Tsai of Axlon, a company I covered in 1998.

House cleaning is a cool thing:

Subject: Thank you very much for your great story

Dear Julie,

I just want to thank you very much for the great news lines you wrote for PalmPal on the Sep issue of CE pro. When I and my other colleagues including our president, Dr. Shih read the article you wrote on our booth at CEDIA(that's where we get the first copy of the Sep. issue), everyone is very impressed by your fully understanding on PalmPal. I am surprised too myself you could get such thorough and complete understanding on PalmPal by only getting our product information. Our president, Dr. Shih said when he read this, 'She must be a really good writer with intelligent mind and strong technical background that she could write a news like she knows our company and product inside and out.'

You will be happy to note that, after the show, "we're received many inquiries about PalmPal."

Unfortunately, the inquiries couldn't save Axlon, which never quite got off the ground.

PalmPal was a 900 MHz Digital Wireless Key Telephone System and home automation gateway (complete story after the break)

Home Networking News, 1998
Wireless PBX is Hub of Residential RF Network

Axlon Electronics Corp. has developed a wireless (900 MHz) PBX system that can double as the hub of a whole-house RF network. The PalmPal digital wireless key system supports three CO lines and up to 16 wireless extensions. Plus, it offers music-on-hold, Caller ID, 16 voice mailboxes, auto attendant, call transfer and a full range of other services found in most full-fledged PBX systems.

In addition, the wireless base unit has several ports for communications with other electronic systems. An RS-232 interface allows two-way communications with home control systems, and has PHASTLink-compatibility built in for integration with a PHAST Landmark home control system. An additional RS-232 port is used for system set-up via PC.

A LonWorks interface with selectable transceiver allows two-way communications with LonWorks-compatible products on the network. In addition, the base system has a wireless and hardwired I/O for communications with remote interfaces. An IR receiver is available as an option.

The system is programmed via Windows-based software from Axlon.

The wireless handsets have a three-line LCD display, which can be used for system set-up, phone book editing, clock/alarm setting, Caller-ID and similar functions. In addition, it can be used to display any of up to 32 custom home-control messages. Built-in IR transmitters are optional.

Five programmable buttons can be used to trigger macros programmed into the Axlon base unit or connected home controller.

Axlon, based in Taipei, is currently seeking distributors and business partners in the U.S. One of its first partners is PHAST, which plans to offer PalmPal through its existing dealer network. At the CEDIA Expo, both PHAST and Axlon will demonstrate the wireless PBX integrated with the PHAST Landmark.

PHAST is enthusiastic about Axlon’s prospects in the U.S. PHAST’s Dave Hill notes that Axlon is the exclusive distributor of LonWorks chips in Taiwan, “so they have considerable networking expertise.”

Hill expects that the PalmPal handsets will be used as another interface to the PHAST Landmark. “The softkeys on the handsets are directly connectable to any PHAST feature set, and the screen can display anything that PHAST displays,” including temperature, security status, etc., he says.

Also, says Hill, the PalmPal handsets “can serve as an entry point for us, extending Landmark’s intercom functions to the telephone.”

Although Hill denies that PHAST is currently working on voice-activated control of the Landmark, he concedes that with PalmPal’s external audio capabilities tied to the Landmark, “it would certainly be possible.”

According to Hill, target pricing for the PalmPal will be competitive with the Panasonic key telephone systems, given the features.

"Yeah, my WIFE's Home Cooking"

2010-09-03T11:26:00.000-07:00

Yeah, go ahead and say it Duane. You know you want to: "Yeah, it's hazardous if my wife is cooking." Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

God, save our currency!

2010-09-02T06:13:00.000-07:00

To think, it's so simple!

Washington Post, Letters to the Editor:

I have read with interest the letters regarding the paper dollar vs. the dollar coin. The lack of interest in the coin may be due to the fact that the motto "In God We Trust" was relegated to the edge of the presidential coins that were first minted.

I, for one, will never use a one-dollar coin, or any coin for that matter, as long that motto is in an obscure spot on the coin. The motto is something we should be proud of.

Michael Bridges, Silver Spring

And from a much wiser source:

... As Benn Steil and Manuel Hinds point out in their remarkable book Money, Markets & Sovereignty, "to create a mystique premium on their coins, whose face value significantly exceeded their intrinsic value, rulers typically adopted religious symbols in their stamps. The less gold, the more God. In fact, 'In God We Trust' was added to American dollar bills only after their gold backing was dropped in 1862."*

Sincerely,
Donald J. Boudreaux
Professor of Economics
George Mason University
Fairfax, VA 22030

* Benn Steil and Manuel Hinds, Money, Markets & Sovereignty (New Haven: Yale University Press, 2009), p. 70.

She wants to be friends with ME?!

2010-08-29T13:51:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure who A****** is, but she wants to be friends with me on Facebook. Fascinating

Activities: Spending time with my son, spending time with my husband, spending time with my family, money

Interests: Myself, my son, hanging out with my husband, career, clothes, make-up

Movies: Sound of Music

Television: Oprah

I won ₤1 million and all I got was this lousy letter

2010-08-29T07:08:00.000-07:00

Woo hoo, I won, I won!

20th Century Fox drew my name at random from over 2.5 million people and guess what ... I won ₤1 million. I can hardly contain myself.

You'd think the folks at 20th Century, however, would be a little bit more festive about the occasion.

I mean, I won $33,000 on Wheel of Fortune, and the confetti was flying. People were all like woo hoo, you go girl!

This is all that 20th Century Fox could muster. Total buzz kill.

20th Century Fox
Twentieth Century House
31-32 Soho Square
London
W1V 6AP

JOIN THE 100TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION.

The Twentieth Century-Fox Film Corporation was founded as the result of a merger of two entities, Fox Film Corporation founded by William Fox, and Twentieth Century Pictures, founded by Darryl F. Zanuck.

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the just concluded 2010 final draws of 20th Century Fox 100th Anniversary promo.

20th Century Fox 100th anniversary promo was conducted from an exclusive list of e-mail addresses of individual and corporate bodies. The selection process was carried out through random selection in our computerized email selection machine from a database of over 2,500,000 email addresses drawn from all the continents of the world. Emails were provided by the entire register domain.

After this automated online ballot, your e-mail address attached to serial number 09-34-64 drew the lucky numbers 1-23-41-65-0-72, which consequently emerged you as one of first ten (10) lucky winners in the United Kingdom category.

You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay off of #1,000,000.00(One Million Pounds) in cash credited to file CFX/210/RN100.

This is from a total cash prize of #20 Million British Pounds to be shared amongst the Twenty (20) lucky winners as part to mark The Twentieth Century-Fox Film Corporation 100 year s anniversary.

To claim your prize funds, you are required to send the necessary information to our helpline below: Name---- Country---- Address--- Occupation--- Lucky number--- serial number---

Helpline Service
Mr. Philips Anderson
Information and Payment Bureau:
London Representative Office.
Help Service Contact
E-mail: consultcenturyfox@live.co.uk
E-mail: 20th.centuryfoxbureau@admin.in.th

Congratulation on behalf of members and staff of this board and thanks for been part of our promotions program.

Mrs. Grace Sian
Promotions Manager
20th Century Fox
Anniversary
promo.

New meaning to "Overseas Operations"

2010-08-26T14:36:00.000-07:00

Of all the places to make this typo.

In today's St. Paul Pioneer Press, we learn that Ford will definitely close its plant in St. Paul next year in order to "better leverage our global platforms," according to Ford's Mark Fields. "At this time, the Twin Cities Assembly Plant does not fit into our global manufacturing strategy."

According to the newspaper, Fields "overseas all North American and South American operations" for Ford.

Sure enough:

oversea [oh-ver-see] -s, -d, -ing
-verb (used with object)
to send jobs, businesses, trinkets and other stuff to foreign lands

syn: export, send out, find market, ship, put on board

Do you have this in a walleye?

2010-08-24T09:31:00.000-07:00

Sure, we had it all planned out ...

Duane and I would be cremated, our ashes spread out across fishing lakes, Frisbee fields, hallowed trade show grounds, whatever. Cheap and easy, right?

Then we watch CBS News Sunday Morning and now he's gotta have a fish casket. Not just any fish ... a walleye.

Damn you, Charles Osgood.

Stay ... go ... stay ... go ...

2010-08-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

Now if that doesn't send a kid mixed signals!

So easy a housekeeper can use it!

2010-08-08T10:12:00.000-07:00

So where do housekeepers fall in the hierarchy of technology intelligence?

I know there are products that are "so easy your mother can use it!" There are even systems that your inept wife and grandmother can figure out!

But a housekeeper? If she can use a home automation system, then anyone can use it, possibly even a caveman.

So Lagotek must be the most intuitive system on the planet, according to Seattle homeowner Gregory Palant, a customer (and incidentally a company director). His testimonial (pdf) goes like this:

When we installed the Lagotek system, my wife was a bit concerned about having a computer network manage our home. Once she saw how simple it is to use, she started telling all our neighbors, relatives and friends that they should check it out. Even our housekeeper figured it out in just a few minutes.

Now I wonder if said housekeeper is a minority. The system would get some bonus points for simplicity, for sure!

Only in Texas?

2010-08-06T15:14:00.000-07:00

Flipping through the "Community Education" pages, I stumbled across some great courses: Beginning Photoshop, Step Aerobics, Square Dancing Level I, Women's Self Defense ... and this one:

Deer Processing from Field to Freezer
Avoid the extra expense of paying a butcher shop to process your deer this fall. Swen-Dell Deer will take you through the entire process from field to freezer, including how to cut chops, roasts, trim for ground venison, and tips on making sausage. This is a demonstration class and will take place in an outdoor area, so please dress accordingly. A deer will be field dressed and prepared during class. Class includes a reference book. Cutting supplies will be available for optional purchase.$39/person

Only in Texas?

Evidently not. You'll find this course right here in Stillwater, Minn. Sign me up!

Jesus loves (celibate) gays

2010-08-03T09:06:00.000-07:00

Gay people rejoice! "You can have this struggle with same-sex attraction, say no to it, and still follow Christ."

St. Paul Pioneer Press: Controversial Minneapolis pastor: I'm attracted to men, but I'm not gay

A Lutheran pastor in Minneapolis who opposes homosexuals being allowed to lead congregations said Monday he is attracted to men, but that he's not a hypocrite because he never acted on his urges.
The Rev. Tom Brock told the Associated Press he has known for years he is sexually attracted to men, but doesn't consider himself gay because he never acted on it.

In June, the Minnesota gay magazine Lavender reported that Brock was a member of a support group for Christians who struggle with same-sex attraction. Brock's church, the Hope Lutheran Church, placed him on leave while a task force looked into the matter. The Rev. Tom Parrish, the church's executive pastor, said the investigation determined Brock's story checked out.

"I am a 57-year-old virgin," Brock told the Hope Lutheran congregation during services upon returning to the pulpit on Sunday.

[More...]

Anyone have a copy of Australian copyright law?

2010-07-26T04:21:00.000-07:00

This time, plagiarist David Richards gives us a two-fer on why it was OK for him to publish my Crestron UFO story without attribution. Goodie, goodie, double the fun!

1. My information must have come from a Crestron press release and Crestron must have supplied the photograph; therefore, it was OK to "rewrite" my original story. First, my story did not come from a press release. In fairness, David did rewrite some of the story -- the part where he added grammatical and factual errors.

2. "My economy is better than your economy."

While these excuses are amusing, I still long for the old David Richards -- the clever guy that invented a phantom Internet hacker cum plagiarizer.

In his own words this time around:

Firstly your copy is from a Crestron press release, Crestron has supplied the image and we have rewritten the story. The facts in the story are the same or are you now saying that only you can report the specifications for this device.

We work under Australian Copyright law. Your laws allow CEO’s of Companies like Dell and Intel to carry on running a Company despite the fact that they have engaged in bribery. In Australia our ACCC would have had these directors suspended. Then again your economy is stuffed and ours is booming.

Click for more David Richards gems.

Amazing Bose speakers: They improve with use!

2010-07-25T15:16:00.000-07:00

David Richards, everybody's favorite CE plagiarist, reviewed the MusicMonitor computer speakers from Bose in 2007. But the review is still featured on David's Smarthouse home page, so it's still fair game for lampooning.

He titles the piece, "BOSE: Are These The Worlds Best Small Speakers? We Think So"

Well, who could dispute that? According to David's reviews, these little guys actually improve the more you listen to them. Is it magic?

David writes:

After playing the Bose demo DVD I then moved to an array of music from classical to rock to good old jazz and with each track the performance just got better and better.

Likewise, his review just gets better and better as you read on ...

In sound labs around the world engineers are going to be pulling their hair out saying "Why didn't we think of this for small sound speakers".
---
What can one say about a product that is perfect except eat your heart out B&O.
---
These [$400] speakers are as good as a $2,000 pair of speakers from a high end Hi Fi manufacturer.

Click for more David Richards gems.

Australian plagiarist can't write, can't count

2010-07-25T14:39:00.001-07:00

Our friend David Richards, proprietor of Smarthouse and Channel News in Australia, is such a sneaky little devil. He takes our exclusive story on the new Crestron UFO-4X remote, throws in some grammatical and numerical errors, and claims it as his own.

The photo he steals from us, however, is completely unadulterated and, as usual, completely unattributed to CEPro.com.

Vintage David!

Read:
CE Pro's original story
David's story

His story is below, with my highlights in yellow and commentary in red.

Crestron Takes On The iPad With New Touch Track Pad

By David Richards | Sunday | 25/07/2010

As the Apple iPad starts to put pressure on control devices from home automation manufacturers Creston has come out with a new 6 button track pad remote control device. Interesting, I count 21 buttons. Did he mean 6-inch remote, as I wrote in my story. He needs a better copy editor. Get it? copy editor?

The UFO-4X has a virtual keyboard for entering URLs, passwords, and content selection, [sic] it can also be transformed into a mouse, so users can navigate their way around both content and a home's remote control services. Shaped like a flying saucer the device sits on a small stand for charging. At least David added something of his own – that the UFO has a dock. I never mentioned that in my story! But then, I guess he inferred that from the image he stole from our site without credit.

The device which sits on a wireless network can also be used to access Web pages, using the same taps and double-taps as a standard desktop track pad. I believe my own wording is a little more elegant: With the UFO controller, users can finger effortlessly through Web pages, using the same taps and double-taps as a standard desktop trackpad.

Users can also access PC [sic] on the network, as long as they're running Crestron's CEN-WIN touch panel HID Emulator software. Yeah, what he said. I mean, what I said: Users also can navigate any PC on the network, as long as they’re running Crestron’s CEN-WIN Touchpanel HID Emulator software.

Multi touch functionality lets users flip through music libraries, scroll through TV channels and radio stations and select control apps. Hmm, sounds familiar: Multitouch functionality lets users flip through music libraries, scroll through TV channels and radio stations and select control apps.

The RF unit operates over a 100 metre radius. It can be used in both landscape and portrait mode, adjusting automatically due to a built-in tilt sensor. Flash is supported for dynamic graphics. Not quite, David. I wrote 200 feet, which translates to about 61 meters. Are we over-compensating for something? Oh yes, and there’s the plagiarizing: The RF unit is good for about 200 feet indoors. It can be used in both landscape and portrait mode, adjusting automatically thanks to a built-in tilt sensor. Flash is supported for dynamic graphics.

Click for more David Richards gems.

A boo-boo on the pageant coach? (Gasp!)

2010-07-18T17:07:00.000-07:00

By the way, yes, I made this discovery all by myself. I cut out the story to blog about the Bandaid, and when I went to the online story, I noticed the Photoshop magic.

--------

That sure looks like a Bandaid on Ashley Hawks's left leg. Ordinarily, that's nothing to gasp about, but this is no ordinary photo. It accompanies an article about Hawks's pageant-coaching business, Style & Grace.

Style and Grace? I should say not!

For goodness sakes, Hawks is a model who "works runways all over the country." And her mother is a former pageant queen who "was always on her case about posture and manners."

Apparently, the lessons didn't take.

Flaunting a bandaged leg in the pages of the esteemed St. Paul Pioneer Press is most definitely not good manners. What kind of message does it send to Miss Minnesota hopefuls who study at Hawks's school of beauty and etiquette?

First Bandaids, then what? Unpolished nails?

Hold on there, Missy ... Boo-boo meets Photoshop?

But wait, there's more.

In the online version of "Pageant coaches give beauties that crowning touch," there's no Bandaid on Hawks's leg! Could it be that the online editors noticed the gaffe that apparently eluded both Hawks and the photographer, Scott Takushi?

Ah the wonders of Photoshop and second chances.

I can now picture the "tall, gorgeous, graceful and polite" Hawks as she was meant to be.

She will forever inspire me to "form a concise opinion on feminism and to avoid placing a hand on the widest part of [my] hip."

Famous industrialists: Ford, Carnegie, Rockefeller ... Obama

2010-07-17T05:44:00.000-07:00

Just one word: Batteries

Central planners in Washington think they know -- better than the industrialists -- which industries we should invest in.

They're spending billions now to make car batteries that we won't need until Asia can produce them far more cheaply than we can.

Excerpt from Obama pins hopes on an untested hero: the battery:

Standing at a podium in a muddy construction site, Obama celebrated the groundbreaking of an advanced car battery factory that the White House predicts will produce 300 permanent jobs. It was his fourth battery-related trip as president, and it came as the White House makes an aggressive push to tell what one senior official called "the battery story" — the tale of a small piece of technology that could affect daily life and spur jobs if properly nurtured. ...

But the administration's $2.4 billion investment in the development of batteries and other electric-car technology in the U.S. is an enormous bet on a product that has yet to gain broad commercial success. Major manufacturers have yet to sell electric cars in the U.S. Hybrids, though they have been around for a decade, represent less than 1 percent of the nation's roughly 250 million-vehicle fleet.

"The battery story is highly questionable," said Menahem Anderman, the founder and chief executive of Total Battery Consulting. "Basically, there's really no proven market, neither electric vehicle nor plug-in hybrid electric vehicle — and there's really no battery company in the United States that has a verified product."

Although U.S. battery makers could export their products, the global market is glutted, according to analysts. Anderman said global capacity to build car batteries in 2014 will be three times greater than demand that year.

Armless and dangerous

2010-07-16T08:38:00.001-07:00

2D is plenty for these dresses, thank you very much

2010-07-13T10:46:00.000-07:00

Images: 2008 Fashion Week from blog.nj.com

I already noted the movies we don’t want to view in 3D. So how about the dresses?

The Stéphane Rolland watermelon-parachute dress (left) and the Georges Hobeika hula-bow number (right) are two examples of haute couture best viewed in two dimensions – at the very most.

Yet, Rolland and Hobeika are two of the designers featured in Looping Productions’ forthcoming 3D fashion show, which promises to make “the world’s most beautiful clothing and accessories … even more stunning!"

Looping teamed with Xpand 3D to film cadaverous models floating down the runway during Paris Haute Couture Week, July 5-8. Select TV viewers can enjoy the spectacle later this month when it is broadcast in 3D somewhere, somehow – the press release doesn’t say.

What it does say is: “At XpanD, fashion is a religion—we aim to not only make 3D content look fabulous, but to make the people wearing our glasses look fabulous as well.”

To prove its point, Xpand includes an image of “stylish” pink 3D glasses, noting, “Now, more than ever, XpanD 3D is truly ‘in vogue!’”

I'll tell you what. If I was wearing these hot-pink specs, I'd definitely look better than the queen.

My husband would happily wear them if the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show were broadcast in 3D.

Why the Queen Looks Better in 3D Glasses than I Do

2010-07-12T05:59:00.000-07:00

The Queen & I: Separated at Birth?

How come when the Queen of England dons 3D specs, she (still) looks like a classy lady, but when I wear them, I look like a complete doof?

This is why:

The queen had a professional photographer, makeup artists and quite possibly someone to retouch her photo. I'm just me.
I’m wearing unflattering active glasses from Sony, while the queen appears to be wearing passive lenses with a sleeker, face-fitting design.
Sure, anyone can look good wearing a fancy hat, pearl earrings and a pretty necklace.
I’ve got those evil devil-eyes, while Queen Elizabeth II looks positively angelic.
The Sony eyewear makes my ears stick out unnaturally. Yeah, that’s it.
I never had lessons on how to smile in front of a camera.
Honestly, the right side is my better side

Or tired person with an alternative lifestyle??

2010-07-08T07:56:00.000-07:00

Someone at Reuters was having a good chuckle over this headline.

Where education stoped

2010-06-28T07:53:00.000-07:00

This poor 22-year-old has suffered the loss of her father, "a known bussines man here before his untimely death."

I'm really tempted to help her, as she so desperately wants to -- and needs to -- continue her education.

Please I have suffered alot of humuliation from my immidiate uncles due to this funds that is the reason I contact you to help me secure the money in your country so that I can come over and continue my education from were I stoped.

Dear lord, don't make her settle!

2010-06-25T10:14:00.000-07:00

No wonder this woman says, "I'm beginning to panic because I know how long it takes" to get a job.

Despite the looming loss of [unemployment] benefits, she said she remains focused on finding an accounting job with pay that's comparable to the one she lost 14 months ago.
-- "A loss of benefits looms, anxiety grows for jobless Minnesotans," St. Paul Pioneer Press

It's tough to be sympathetic.

FTC, please stay out of my journalism

2010-06-24T08:11:00.000-07:00

Thankfully, FTC chairman Jonathan Leibowitz thinks it's a "terrible idea" to subsidize journalism through a tax on consumer electronics.

He was responding to recommendations put forth in the FTC's recently published document, "Potential Policy Recommendations to Support the Reinvention of Journalism."

The FTC has come under fire for considering such silly ideas as bailing out journalism by taxing technology, cellphone data plans and advertising.

But the organization wants everyone to know that the document in question is not a proposal by the FTC, rather a discussion of recommendations put forth by various parties.

The recommendation for a 5% tax on CE was "an idea submitted to the FTC's staff as part of workshops we've been holding since last year," writes FTC Deputy Public Affairs Director Peter Kaplan in an email to CE Pro. "It was never FTC's proposal or recommendation ...."

He adds, "The FTC hasn't even finished holding the workshops yet, much less made any recommendations. We hope to release a report in the fall, which may or may not include recommendations."

Kaplan points to a press release that was distributed on June 4.

See, no wonder we need to reinvent journalism! Damn reporters got this story all wrong.

Read on for my response to Mr. Kaplan ...

Open letter to Peter Kaplan:

First, even though the reinventing-journalism document is a compilation of recommendations, not a recommendation or proposal itself, someone made the decision to include some ideas and exclude others, right?

So someone in the FTC thinks it at least a passable idea to tax the technologies that evidently are killing journalism.

This is what we in the media call "setting the agenda."

Washington Examiner reporter Mark Tapscott puts it beautifully in his piece, "Evasive FTC wants it both ways on 'reinventing journalism'"

So [in reponse to the FTC's PR] I asked the agency's deputy public affairs director, Peter Kaplan, if the inclusion of any idea in the working draft thereby made it at least possible that it would subsequently be endorsed by the agency.

Kaplan, a former Reuters reporter, hemmed and hawed a bit but said yes. So, contrary to the press office statement, the decision of FTC staff members to include a selection of ideas in a menu of ideas any one of which could ultimately become official government policy constituted a form of endorsement. This is called trying to have it both ways: These aren't our ideas but we endorsed them before we didn't.

In any case, it is silly for the government to even contemplate a reinvention of journalism, much less play a role in rewarding news organizations for their outmoded business practices.

Finally, I would like chairman Leibowitz to repudiate the idea of a tax on advertising and cellphone service with the same resolution as he denounced the tax in CE.

Read all the gory details:
Uncle Sam: 5% Tax on CE Products Could Save Journalism (06.07.2010)
FTC Chairman: Tax on CE is ‘Terrible Idea’ (06.10.2010)
FTC Responds to Stories on CE Tax (06.10.2010)

Remote control recidivism?

2010-06-05T10:48:00.000-07:00

Can't we all get along?

Today, a 13-year-old gets arrested for throwing a TV remote control at a woman, striking her in the back.

The girl should be charged as an adult and taught a lesson before she goes on to commit more heinous remote-control crimes.

MARY ESTHER – A 13-year-old girl was arrested after she allegedly threw a TV remote control at a woman, striking her in the back.
About 5 p.m. May 4, the girl pushed the woman down and scratched her neck, according to an Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office arrest report. She then threw the remote, which left a “large red mark” on the woman’s back.
The report doesn’t make clear the relationship between the woman and the girl.
The girl was charged with domestic battery and is due in juvenile court June 30.

Good one! She was charged with "battery".

[via NWF Daily News]

Son who tries to stab Mom over remote has "anger issues"

2010-06-03T07:05:00.000-07:00

Which is worse? That a 20-year-old is still living with his mother, or that the ungrateful miscreant threatens to stab the woman over a remote control?

When Anne Daniels tried to usurp the remote from her son, he pulled out a knife and swung at her neck.

Mom explains, during her reenactment for News 3 in Memphis, "I'm here feeding you, clothing you, putting a roof over your head ... then you're going to stick me?"

According to the report, Ms. Daniels says she hopes her son Michael gets help with his anger issues: "I love him. That's my baby, you know what I'm saying? I don't want to see him down there (in jail), but I'm not fixin' to see him threaten my life either."

What 'kind' of editor?!

2010-05-31T08:12:00.000-07:00

I've been called many things before -- for example a "special and attractive and upper class Lady and woman; "a self-serving, self-centered, ignorant and disgusting human being;" and an editor that is "so out of touch with an industry that you cover."

But I can honestly say that, in my 16 years in publishing, I have never been called a "kind editor" until now:

MAY 31, 2010

DEAR: ELECTRONIC HOUSE

DEAR: KIND EDITOR MS. JULIE JACOBSON

YOUR ELITE AND KINDSELF MAY LIKE THESE
BLISSFUL UNIVERSAL TRUTHS FOR PUBLICATION
TO DEAR READERS AS THESE ARE BENEFICIAL IN

THE PRESENT TIMES OF COMPETITION ...

-- PRAMUKH SWAMI --

Answer me this

2010-05-27T07:48:00.000-07:00

Look what popped up

2010-05-07T04:39:00.000-07:00

You know those letters and numbers you have to enter to ensure your human-ness? They're called "captchas."

DrFlick sent me this one that came up (get it?) on one of his sites, TechnicallyPhilly.com.

I tried it for myself and here's what I got ... It's the result of exhibit "A" above.

For the lady in your life

2010-05-06T06:52:00.000-07:00

What every girl wants in an external hard drive:

Using the advanced IMF (In-Mold Foil) technology, SH02 beautifully presents itself with sensory appeals that can be vividly felt not only visually, but also through the touch of fingertips. The same surface finishing makes SH02 resist to scratches, abrasion and annoying fingerprints as well, keeping the look nice and new all the time as if it is bought for the first day.

HD Guru Action Figure

2010-05-06T05:58:00.000-07:00

We always knew HD Guru Gary Merson had it in him.

URC makes me famous!

2010-05-03T14:59:00.000-07:00

I have arrived.

URC made me the first poster-editor for its newsletter in a new feature called "Know Your Industry Journalist."

Here's an excerpt:

What does your average day look like?
I’m a morning person so I get up early—like 3:30 this particular morning to wrap up this piece and head to the airport.

I check about 40 RSS feeds through iGoogle to catch up on tech news, then get to writing. I hate writing, I truly do.

Then there’s interviews, and teleconferences, and EH brand meetings, and editorial planning, and making PowerPoints...

I work closely with our salespeople, after they stop yelling at me for not writing enough about their clients. We do this thing at EH in which anyone who sells something—big or small—sends an email to the entire staff. That’s a lot of email but it’s great for morale and I for one get a huge kick out of it.

I like to post at least a couple stories online every day and promote them on Twitter (@juliejacobson). I’ll check cepro.com and electronichouse.com non-stop for comments. I’m also addicted to Google Analytics, checking our site statistics throughout the day. I also check remotecentral.com and integrationpros.org several times a day, mostly to see what terrible things they’re saying about us.

And, yes, I’m usually still in my pajamas until early afternoon when I’ll do the stationary bike or take a jog during the 10 days of Minnesota summer.

I get about 400 emails per day and I’m terrible about responding. Sorry guys. If these pesky PR people would just leave me alone…

I often punctuate the day, when I’m not traveling, with visits to dealers, and we have a group of CE Pros in the Twin Cities that meets every month. I recommend it.

Today, I head to Chicago for a day to visit with Abt Electronics and M&K.

Read the rest of the interview here.

Thanks for the opportunity, URC!

Now I get it

2010-04-23T07:16:00.000-07:00

So that's where spokeo got that I love shopping.

Late 40s, Loves shopping, LOL

2010-04-23T07:05:00.000-07:00

A friend alerted me to spokeo.com, which allegedly publishes very private information about U.S. citizens.

Fearful that my secret nose-picking fetish would be exposed, I tried it for myself.

Entered Julie Jacobson, clicked on Minnesota (there are 18 of us here) and found myself in Stillwater, Minn.

The horrors! In fact, they do have my photo there, courtesy of Twitter. Interestingly enough, almost all of the other Julie Jacobsons in Minnesota look just like me!!

They got a few other things right like my gender (female) and zodiac (Gemini). They got a few things close like my age. According to spokeo, I'm in my late 40's. I won't be in the lates for another couple of years.

But here are my favorites:

Home Description: PO Box, built in 1999
Lifestyle & Interests: Enjoys shopping (they must have seen this)

And for the one Julie Jacobson that doesn't have my picture in her profile, here's what she has instead. Lucky her.

Hokey Pokey Anonymous

2010-04-21T07:59:00.000-07:00

Hokey Pokey Anonymous ... the place to turn yourself around.

When will the remote control tyranny cease?

2010-04-08T08:47:00.000-07:00

Officer, he didn't choke me, he only hit me with a wimpy little remote.

Report: Man charged with assault after he hit woman with TV remote

The witness told police that he saw Collins grab the woman by the throat with both hands and hit her with a television remote control from the room, according to the report. The woman corroborated the witness’ statement, but denied being choked.

Would you call me a big-ass fan of Big Ass Fans?

2010-04-05T09:27:00.000-07:00

Do you really think a luxury home owner wants a "Big Ass Fans" logo on their upscale fans? And, by the way, the term is politically incorrect. We prefer "large ass."

Big Ass Fans® Unveils New Communication Campaign for Luxury Residential Market

“Our customers have asked for this, and we have responded,” said [CEO Carey] Smith. “We’ve expanded our business model and created a Big Ass Fans sales team dedicated to promoting Isis residential."

My nephew: budding graphic artist

2010-03-28T00:09:00.000-07:00

Not bad, huh?

My 10-year-old nephew Ian, who maintains his own Web site and illustrates the iPhone apps he would write if he could, created this logo for a couple of his elementary school friends.

They're starting a new business in which they sell "colored pencils and other stuff like that."

We can only aspire ...

2010-03-23T04:26:00.000-07:00

HOW MANY PEDIATRIC PATIENTS HAVE FALLEN INTO THIS POT?

Dear American friends,

I really hate to rub it in, but a man forewarned is a man forearmed.

As some of you know, I’ve been living in France for almost 7 years now. I am pretty much blessed with a good condition, so I never had to deal much with the French healthcare system until my son, Arthur, was born in May 2009.

During holidays Arthur had to be hospitalized for a few weeks when he caught the H1N1 flu on top of his already severe bronchiolitis. He’s alright now, but his stay at the hospital was hard on him. Attached are some pictures of his room in the pediatric service of Hopital Nord, Marseille, that I thought I’d share so you get a good idea of what “world class universal healthcare coverage” looks like. ...

[MORE]

Husbands and fat pants

2010-03-23T04:02:00.000-07:00

Duane: What's taking you so long?
Julie: I can't find my fat jeans.
Duane: You don't need fat jeans.
[Could have stopped there, but...]
Duane: That was good, wasn't it?
Duane: I said the right thing, didn't I?

Am I Really that Elite or Excellent?

2010-03-22T06:39:00.000-07:00

Influential, maybe. I do influence people to write me hate mail, send letters from prison, turn me into action figures, plagiarize my stuff and call for my demise, for example.

Me? Really?

2010-03-18T23:12:00.000-07:00

Too many colors in this PR ... that's only one of the problems

2010-03-15T07:02:00.000-07:00

1. Dude, what's with all the colors?
2. Why do PR people send an email asking permission to send another email?!
3. Um, hello? How about actually naming the organization and providing a link?

Hi

Every business can become more "Green" and learn different ways to conserve energy,
improve their environmental practices, while also saving money.

May I send you some information on joining the only NEW Green Manufacturing, Construction and Industry Association which is Global in Scope?

It's FREE to join and there are lots of benefits.

MEMBERS include:Manufacturers of Every Kind and Specialty
Material Handling
Packaging
Industrial
Construction
Dealers/Distributors

ASSOCIATE MEMBERS include:Government
Intermodal/Logistics
Supply Chain

And any Company
wanting to go GREEN
Looking forward towards hearing back from you.
Thank you.

Sincerely,
Ian HowardIan Howard

I want to touch the one without feces!

2010-03-11T08:03:00.001-08:00

What publicist uses 'LOL' in her pitch?

2010-03-11T04:44:00.000-08:00

I'm tempted to call, just for grins ...

Hello Julie

What story are you working on? How may I help you?

As you know, I love being a publicist and would love to serve you connecting you to families, businesses and sources in every state of America as well as some countries world-wide. ...

Feel free to share my contact information with your media friends. Think of me as the energizer bunny publicist, never quitting (LOL), especially call on me in a pinch.

Feel free to request to be removed. I'm really committed to making your job easier. ~ Michelle

Most ridiculous press release ever?

2010-03-10T13:21:00.000-08:00

I can barely stand the waiting ...

DMP to Unwrap Major New Offering at ISC West

Springfield, Missouri — March 11, 2010 — Digital Monitoring Products (DMP) announced today that it will be unveiling something exciting in its booth at ISC West, but is releasing no details about the new offering... whatever it is. ISC attendees will have to wait until the show begins to learn more about this most-recent DMP innovation.

"We'll have a number of innovative new products on hand for booth visitors to see," said Mark NeSmith, Vice President of Sales. "But we're keeping our major new announcement under wraps until March 24. Everyone enjoys a surprise, so we decided to provide one at the show. Visitors who want to see what we've got up our sleeve will need to stop by Booth 20017. We think they'll agree that it was worth waiting for."

Holy crap! Did Ken really say that?

2010-03-09T05:22:00.000-08:00

EH Publishing president Ken Moyes issued a video message about EHX yesterday via YouTube.

One manufacturer duly listened to the message -- with Google's text-to-speech enabled.

For all of you hard-of-hearing folks, let me assure you that Google's translation in this case is incorrect.

Would it be un-Christian?

2010-03-07T05:22:00.000-08:00

I selected you after visiting the website for this purpose and prayed over it, I am willing to donate the sum of $6.000,000.00 Million US Dollars tothe motherless baby homes, needy, poor, charity homes and widows too. Please note that, this fund is lying in a Bank here in abijan therefore my lawyer will file an immediate application for the transfer of the money in the name of your ministry. Please, do not reply me if you have the intention of using this fund for personal use other than enhancement of evangelism.

Dear Abby:

Would it be wrong of me to use this lucky inheritance for french fries and travel instead?

On economics and romance

2010-03-07T05:08:00.000-08:00

Friends,

My GMU colleague and co-blogger, Russ Roberts, talks with Reason.tv about his most-recent book, The Price of Everything - and other novels (including Atlas Shrugged). It's a really great sex-minute video!

http://movie.bloggles.co.cc/?p=68960

Don

Economist Donald Boudreaux then sent out this correction:

Friends,

In my previous e-mail, I meant to write "six-minute video." While Russ does include some romance in his economics novels, they're all rated G.

I'm in serious need of more caffeine at the moment.....

Don

New Scrabble word?

2010-03-06T17:25:00.000-08:00

We make typos all the time. Let's hope they don't appear on our magazine cover.

Etymology of 'SkyGrid'

2010-03-03T15:44:00.000-08:00

I stumbled across this interesting content aggregator. Not so interesting? The SkyGrid FAQ:

7. What does the name SkyGrid mean?

SkyGrid is the combination of the two words “Sky” and “Grid”.

Corrosive women?

2010-03-03T13:12:00.000-08:00

NO, THIS IS NOT A FALLOPIAN TUBE

Anyone interested in the Women in Corrosion Lunch on March 15?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Turns out the luncheon is part of the Corrosion 2010, presented by NACE. That's right, the National Association of Corrosion Engineers. The event is March 14-18 in San Antonio, Texas.

Just so you know, I was invited to this luncheon. Not that I'm corrosive or anything.

Typo: Dressed up security system

2010-03-02T06:46:00.000-08:00

Dear Costumer,

EuroX10 launches the iConnect Security System. We think that it is an event that worth’s a complete newsletter, given the high quality of the equipment, its performance and range of solutions.

Now how did they know I like to dress up when I use my security system?

Mary from China

2010-03-01T08:38:00.000-08:00

Dear Sir or Madam.,

Have a good day!

I am Mary form China. We come accross on the webside and know that you may in the market for HDMI cable. If so,we would like to introduce our company and product to you hope that we may buid business cooperation in the future.

My favorite typo ever?

2010-02-24T05:28:00.001-08:00

A dealer response to my request for interesting security-sensor applications (emphasis added)

We have a client who's husband would go to the kitchen pantry for little snacks and leave the pantry light on which totally annoyed her being a bit of a tree hugger hippie. (not that there's anything wrong with that)............. The panty door was rarely closed so a motion detector/control system and lighting control were used to create an "occupancy sensor"....

X10 VP: 'Julie you haven't a clue what you’re talking about'

2010-02-17T12:44:00.000-08:00

35-year X10 veteran Dave Rye takes offense to my January 2010 CE Pro Industry Insider in which I suggest that we're still a long way from mass-market automation. Below is Rye's entire rant.

Julie, I regularly read your column in CE Pro and Electronic House just so I can have a laugh to myself. I am always amused by your total lack of knowledge of X10, or is it just that you ignore us because we don't advertise with you any more?

Anyway, you said in your January issue of CE Pro, quote:

"For about a dozen years, manufacturers have tried to sell "easy-to-install, easy-to-use" home control systems to the masses, but for the most part the masses aren't buying. Despite some capable, affordable, turnkey do-it-yourself products from the likes of iControl, Mi Casa Verde, Wayne Dalton, Xanboo and others (and a great fear among CE pros), we're still a long, long way from automation at retail."

Julie, how can you be so out of touch with an industry that you cover and are supposed to be an expert on?

[MORE]

Oops, David Richards plagiarizes on iPad

2010-02-15T07:38:00.000-08:00

Looks like our Australian friend David Richards has forgotten again to credit CE Pro for our fine interview with Jim Carroll, CEO of Savant.

He writes (directly from our story):

In the US, Savant CEO Jim Carroll said, "When we look back on this two years from now, we're going to say this was a watershed event, not just for Savant but for the industry in general,"

"The days of making margins on expensive touch panels are winding down," according to Carroll. He says consumers will see the iPad as having "the same or similar touch hardware" to other control offerings.

The grammatical error, as usual, was all his!

My favorite error in this particular story is David's subtitle:

The new Apple touchscreen iPad could have a devastating effect on the automation industry, say industry experts, with the device used to replace custom display screens and remote controls like the Philips Pronto and the RCI remote.

RCI remote? Perhaps he meant RTI?

Read the original story on CEPro.com: Savant: iPad Will Redefine Home Automation

Click for more David Richards gems.

AMX, Crestron: Separated at Birth?

2010-02-02T08:11:00.001-08:00

This is too priceless: arch rivals Randy Klein of Crestron (left) and Michael Olinger of AMX.

Plagiarist David Richards strikes again

2010-01-27T14:44:00.000-08:00

I don't know why this guy gives himself a byline. The credit should be: Subtitle by David Richards. Story by Julie Jacobson.

My words verbatim after "CE Pro."

Leave it to David to do such a poor job on the only two sentences he did write. Only one typo ("officals") so he's improving...

Control4 Talks To Sonos

By David Richards | Wednesday | 27/01/2010

The development of new home control software by a UK company is set to allow owners of Control4 software to talk directly to a Sonos multi-room audio system.

Software company Extra Vegetables will demonstrate the new software at next week's Integrated Systems Europe show in London, according to company officals.

CEPro in the USA reported: "Sonos is the music streaming solution of choice for many home owners as it provides a convenient way to enjoy music in every room wirelessly," says Vegetables spokesperson Jane Scotland. "However, up to now controlling a Sonos system and other entertainment equipment has meant juggling a Sonos controller and multiple remotes."

With the Vegetables solution, users can employ a full range of Control4 interfaces to manage their Sonos music system. From a Control4 touchscreen, for example (the same touchscreen that controls the lights, thermostats and A/V gear), customers can browse through their Sonos music library, create song queues and distribute the tunes to any ZonePlayer on the network. They can also control the volume of the music in any zone.

There are limitations, however. Even with the Vegetables driver, the Sonos system still remains somewhat isolated. Only media from the Sonos database is played by the ZonePlayers. Similarly, the Sonos database is not made available to Control4 devices.

When you need a math degree to post a comment

2010-01-25T18:25:00.000-08:00

I was trying to post a comment on one of the tech blogs, and the site wanted to make sure I was a real human being.

Fair enough. At cepro.com, we ask posters to enter (for example) the second letter of the word "cat."

But this particular site expects you to answer a complex math problem. What about us algebraically challenged? Not to fear, the site provides a sample math question -- like a practice quiz -- to help you out:

Solve this simple math problem and enter the result. E.g. for 1+3, enter 4.

And, lest you don't know what a "math problem" is, you are directed to a site that explains the concept.

After quite some time, I was finally able to post my comment.

My first Electronic House fan mail!

2010-01-24T18:24:00.000-08:00

Someone really likes me. Evidently one Howard M. received Electronic House magazine, saw my picture and found the address to EH Publishing in the masthead.

He writes:

Ms. Lady and Business WOMAN Julie ... I'm just one of them human beings of a man who enjoys talking to other human beings of the human family, especially a special and attractive and upper class Lady and woman as you are. ...

Lady Julie, if you don't mind my respectfully asking, how was your holidays? ...

God bless, and you take ever good care of your special and attractive womanly self, for me and other loved ones of you. ...

Lady J. know this, just because I'm in a physical c. institution, does not mean that I'm not a good human being of a person. ...

It's all very flattering, don' t you think?