She wants to be friends with ME?!

I'm not sure who A****** is, but she wants to be friends with me on Facebook. Fascinating

Activities: Spending time with my son, spending time with my husband, spending time with my family, money

Interests: Myself, my son, hanging out with my husband, career, clothes, make-up

Movies: Sound of Music

Television: Oprah

I won ₤1 million and all I got was this lousy letter

Woo hoo, I won, I won!

20th Century Fox drew my name at random from over 2.5 million people and guess what ... I won ₤1 million. I can hardly contain myself.

You'd think the folks at 20th Century, however, would be a little bit more festive about the occasion.

I mean, I won $33,000 on Wheel of Fortune, and the confetti was flying. People were all like woo hoo, you go girl!

This is all that 20th Century Fox could muster. Total buzz kill.

20th Century Fox
Twentieth Century House
31-32 Soho Square
London
W1V 6AP

JOIN THE 100TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION.

The Twentieth Century-Fox Film Corporation was founded as the result of a merger of two entities, Fox Film Corporation founded by William Fox, and Twentieth Century Pictures, founded by Darryl F. Zanuck.

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the just concluded 2010 final draws of 20th Century Fox 100th Anniversary promo.

New meaning to "Overseas Operations"

Of all the places to make this typo.

In today's St. Paul Pioneer Press, we learn that Ford will definitely close its plant in St. Paul next year in order to "better leverage our global platforms," according to Ford's Mark Fields. "At this time, the Twin Cities Assembly Plant does not fit into our global manufacturing strategy." 

According to the newspaper, Fields "overseas all North American and South American operations" for Ford.

Sure enough:

oversea [oh-ver-see] -s, -d, -ing
-verb (used with object)
to send jobs, businesses, trinkets and other stuff to foreign lands 

syn: export, send out, find market, ship, put on board

Do you have this in a walleye?

Sure, we had it all planned out ...

Duane and I would be cremated, our ashes spread out across fishing lakes, Frisbee fields, hallowed trade show grounds, whatever. Cheap and easy, right?

Then we watch CBS News Sunday Morning and now he's gotta have a fish casket. Not just any fish ... a walleye.

Damn you, Charles Osgood.

Stay ... go ... stay ... go ...

Now if that doesn't send a kid mixed signals!

So easy a housekeeper can use it!

So where do housekeepers fall in the hierarchy of technology intelligence?

I know there are products that are "so easy your mother can use it!" There are even systems that your inept wife and grandmother can figure out!

But a housekeeper? If she can use a home automation system, then anyone can use it, possibly even a caveman.

So Lagotek must be the most intuitive system on the planet, according to Seattle homeowner Gregory Palant, a customer (and incidentally a company director). His testimonial (pdf) goes like this:

When we installed the Lagotek system, my wife was a bit concerned about having a computer network manage our home. Once she saw how simple it is to use, she started telling all our neighbors, relatives and friends that they should check it out. Even our housekeeper figured it out in just a few minutes.

Now I wonder if said housekeeper is a minority. The system would get some bonus points for simplicity, for sure!

Only in Texas?

Flipping through the "Community Education" pages, I stumbled across some great courses: Beginning Photoshop, Step Aerobics, Square Dancing Level I, Women's Self Defense ... and this one:

Deer Processing from Field to Freezer
Avoid the extra expense of paying a butcher shop to process your deer this fall. Swen-Dell Deer will take you through the entire process from field to freezer, including how to cut chops, roasts, trim for ground venison, and tips on making sausage. This is a demonstration class and will take place in an outdoor area, so please dress accordingly. A deer will be field dressed and prepared during class. Class includes a reference book. Cutting supplies will be available for optional purchase.$39/person

Only in Texas?

Evidently not. You'll find this course right here in Stillwater, Minn. Sign me up!

Jesus loves (celibate) gays

Gay people rejoice! "You can have this struggle with same-sex attraction, say no to it, and still follow Christ." 

St. Paul Pioneer Press: Controversial Minneapolis pastor: I'm attracted to men, but I'm not gay

A Lutheran pastor in Minneapolis who opposes homosexuals being allowed to lead congregations said Monday he is attracted to men, but that he's not a hypocrite because he never acted on his urges.
The Rev. Tom Brock told the Associated Press he has known for years he is sexually attracted to men, but doesn't consider himself gay because he never acted on it.

In June, the Minnesota gay magazine Lavender reported that Brock was a member of a support group for Christians who struggle with same-sex attraction. Brock's church, the Hope Lutheran Church, placed him on leave while a task force looked into the matter. The Rev. Tom Parrish, the church's executive pastor, said the investigation determined Brock's story checked out.

"I am a 57-year-old virgin," Brock told the Hope Lutheran congregation during services upon returning to the pulpit on Sunday.

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